WikdClownz69's blog: "Confusion Is The Consensus"

Chapter IV Anal Retentive, self-righteous, self-absorbed, Arrogant BITCHES! Is it when we become Self-Aware that we Lose All control of our perception of ourselves and our place in the world? "I've got X amount of Bills so I need to make Y amount of dollars, so I need a jobby-job that's not really a job, kuz I got a lil' Wiffey that I don't want to become an Ex-Girlfriend, if you know what I mean, man" It still hurts to think about some of my ex-girlfriends especially the glimpse of the Goddess. I'm out to save the environment so I can be cool like all my friends who are in Green peace...? "Everyone's coming Back", Damien said to his good friend, Lawrence Talbot, "EVERYONE! I'm tellin' you, for some strange reason, I don't know why, but they ALL are coming back, both Good and Bad. Now is the time that we all will be able to touch the Past, Present and Future all at once. All three will be joined at all three points in this Time of Balance we have attained." "You mean almost like Time Travel without ever having to leave the comfort of your Couch?", Lawrence asked. "Yeah", replied Damien, "Kinda almost exactly like that, Lawrence", as Damien chuckled and smiled contentedly at his Life long friend and Brother... "So what do You Fear most?" asked Lawrence. "Not being able to experience all the beautiful things surrounding us every day in the world, my brother" replied Damien with no hesitation. Keeping myself alive in this day and age is not that easy. It takes a lot of patience and teaches you exactly what you can and can't do without. But sometimes if you just sit back and wait patiently, good things happen if you have good Karma. And by Good Karma, I mean that if you are really, truly living good, not taking advantage of people and situations, truly being non-violent, and avoiding violent situations and violent people! Do you know what I mean? Love is a nose, so you better not pick it! Everything I've had is dead so I'll take you with me on a journey through Eternity. To the gates of Insanity, or is it really Sanity Disguised as Reality or is it SUR-Reality? I've often wondered what it truly is. But at the same time, I don't want to know where "IT" comes from because then "IT" would no longer be "IT" any more. If all this keeps up I'm guaranteed to FUCKING SNAP! Even when I try to do everything and anything to move away from people because I want to avoid all the negative energy, they always "follow" blindly like a bunch of Sheep, flocking to me just to impart their negativity unto me, unwantingly... I guess that's just "Life"...or a Lie? I think a lot of us got left behind on this trip... But at least most of all the important people are finally coming back to us; the people who mean the most to us are here now, when it counts the most. At the Here and Now place, we have all gathered together once again. And we have all gathered together because we all have special gifts to share with the world today. Through all our Trials and Tribulations we have returned full circle to get back whatever has been taken from us, whatever we didn't learn from the first time around, we can now learn. Whatever was done wrong the first time, we can now do right by it now. Now that the rains have begun to cleanse us and the Here and now, we can finally begin the actual jobs we have been but here to do because we are now whole again. Here, everyone is waking up from their preternatural sleep only to find that finally, someone has started to uncover the falsities that have governed our lives from birth, a virtual brainwashing by our affinity for television, radio and the Media in general. What I'd like to know is why we are so easily drawn into all this without so much as a murmur, but God forbid if you try to change the channel! Everyone is so stuck in this make-believe world television has made for us, and they don't care to know it's not Real. Have you ever been inside the New Masterpiece? Its called Reality, my friends. It's here and it's Real and it can be yours too if you just wake up and realize what's really happening to you. Government "Conspiracies" aside, Television is one of The Biggest of the offenders when it comes to the whole Brainwashing thing. From Birth, we are taught that everything told to us by the "Man In The Box" is right and true, and not to question it, EVER. And if you do question it, you're banished and shun and thought of as a FREAK! Well, I'm a FUCKING FREAK and I'm Damn Proud of being a Freak, so FUCK YOU! HA-HA! I'm not going to get stuck making constant U-turns in life over and over again like everyone I see, kuz it amounts to going in circles if you make enough U-turns! Trust me, I've done it myself over and over a few times in life before I finally started recognizing the patterns for what they actually are; PATTERNS. History is a pattern... Why repeat it again? Haven't we learned from the past yet? Hasn't anyone figured out that a lot of things we see in life are nothing new, that they are "Re-Runs?" Me personally, I change the channel if it's a re-run that I've seen before. I can't stand redundancies. Sometimes I think I could almost hate them. Kinda like childish, Reindeer Games... I have no Time for them or the people who like to play them. And some of these Reindeer Games are pretty FUCT! It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And Nine Times Out Of Ten, Someone gets hurt... Badly! They are all so unaware of what's going on around them; they have absolutely No Fucking Clue, whatsoever. All the little warning signs that go unheeded and unseen in the world, it's really sad kuz everyone misses out on so much because they are oblivious. And there's not much you can do to make them wake up and see. Given time, you can watch the progress of a newly awoken Soul as they evolve through the various stages of Awakening. First comes the recognition of Self..."Oh, wow, this is so fucking awesome, Everything is so Beautiful Here, why haven't I seen this before?" Then, comes the anger at being woken up in the first place..."WHY?" That seems to be the most Fucked up aspect here, being woken from BLISSFUL dreams, Kinda like that movie, "The Matrix". Are you a battery or are you For Real? Good Question... It's the Happy Hour of the Soul. Alcohol brings about answers in unexpected ways if you're paying attention. Are you paying attention now? Ha-Ha.... And if you watch real close, you might even get to see Death Bloom. Another Beginning (or Ending?) It's all a matter of perspective, but it don't matter anyways, so why bother even mentioning it, Write? (right) "You've seen this movie once before, You've seen this movie Through and Through. You've seen your birth, your life, your Death. Do you remember everything in between? Did you have a Good Life when you died? Enough to base a movie on?" to quote Jim Morrison... I'm telling you, that Re-Runs Suck ASS... Straight Up! WORD! I'm not going to stop writing until I'm done. But how will I know I'm done when I'm done? "IT" will let me know in it's own special way. Don't pull my covers until I'm ready to wake up, Please! Highly overrated is our ability to reason. The reason being that without Common Sense, Reason gets Tossed out the window especially when in the hands of these Fucking Amateurs who seem to take up most of the Space on this Planet... I'm not going to play your games if I don't want to. So don’t try and force-feed it to me in the Interim, okay? I'm in no mood for games. I just want to exist and do what I'm here to do for now, so don't derail my Train of Thought. And if you catch me while I'm drunk you just might think I'm an Asshole! KEWL! That's just what I want you to think while I make you play my game without you even realizing I'm making you play! One more soul and then I'll call it quits! So many Souls, so little time. Might as well have fun while you are here, right? How much longer do I have on this Lease on Life? I really do want to know so I know what I have to cram into how long. How long do I have to play this game? Am I the only one playing anymore? And one can only wonder what kind of effect these Hallucinogens have on our lives... What kind of perspective does this lend to our existence? I don't have enough money to get drunk enough to tell you exactly what's wrong with the universe today, so don't bother me with petty Bullshit please. The tourists come from far abound to witness the "Dis-Ease" in action, to see "it" for what "IT" really is. But yet, they too have no clue as to what "IT" really is. And it's amusing to see them searching for "IT" because they don't even know what it even looks like. Do you know what IT looks like? Do you even have an inkling of its approximate size and shape... or color for that matter? We have rubbed ourselves raw by rubbing up against the nearest thing to give us pleasure or immediate relief, if you will. I need some more of that paper stuff called money so I can keep myself drunk and delusional. I need to maintain my anonymity and remain "Oblivious". No, I'm sorry, I'm not listening to the same album as you, so I'm not on the same page as you. I ignore you because I feel it all slipping away from me. Take this all away. I can feel it on my mouth; I can taste you on my fingers still to this day. Give me a fucking menu please. I'd like to see what all there is to choose from. I would like to make an educated choice when it comes time to place my order for life. Everything is not all roses and pretty and perfect... Far From it by a long Shot. If it were, we would not even be here today in the first place. The answer to the question is "I don't know... and that's why I'm here". So I am learning and having fun while I am here to pass the time. Fine with me, Time's Fun when you're having flies... Or is it Time Flies when you're having fun? But I Don't KNOW! To think we are all pathetic... It's pretty much true, but if you look at the ones who shine the most, it makes the rest seem all that much better. So why the Fuck do we put up with it knowing we are wrong at the same time our actions are Right? Two wrongs don't make a Right, but Three wrongs make a Left. Two Wheel demons/ Four Wheels Demons Slip SLide You DIe :-( It's gonna happen anyways, might as well have fun with it ( :-) ) To think we are all perfect knowing we are all dirty and ugly XX~?!=11 of 2001 and compare the Peoples Support on 9/11 of 2002... Not even Half as many "Flags" were hung up in support. Not even HALF! And if anybody did, its because they HAD to because their bosses told them to. That's a sad observation if there ever was one made in the world. Only because they were "made" to. Jeez, It's a sad state of affairs, is it not, when you are "Forced" to be patriotic? If One Day If one day You feel like crying, Call me I don't promise that I'll make you laugh, But I can cry with you If one day You want to run away Don't be afraid to call me I don't promise to ask you to stop But I can run with you If one day You don't want to listen to anyone, Call me I promise to be there for you And I promise to be very quiet But if one day You call and there is no answer Come fast to see me Maybe I need you? If I ever ignored you, I'm sorry If I ever made you feel bad or put you down, I'm sorry If I ever thought I was bigger or better than you, I Love You! Don't ever forget that! Through bad times and good I'll always be here for you I'm sorry for everything wrong I've ever done I'm writing this because, What if Tomorrow Never Comes? What If I never get to say good-bye or give you a big hug? What if I never get to say I'm sorry or I Love You? Because, What if Tomorrow Never Comes? I Love You! A Memory of all that's died A soothing voice for all that have cried In the Garden the truth is found No longer shall our souls be bound To this Joke created by He Who Lied To hide the answers from all who have tried In Vain, We've witnessed the lie from afar A Hamburger and soda left by the Wee people on the waterfront of the Harbor. A CD Walkman felt left alone at a payphone. Its funny how trash and humans interact with each other in this day and age. It's interesting what things people leave behind when they leave places. The cats, raccoons and opossums feed off what’s left behind at the end of the day. I see some of the strangest people walking out of the local bars after last call has come and gone. When we sleep, we're gone...Or are we? Are we really gone or are we truly alive as opposed to dead like we usually think when we go to sleep? Sleep is good... I like sleeping a lot. Can't sleep, Clowns will eat me. Nice Bart reference Little do they know that I'm the clown and I sleep very well, at night, thank you very Much! I have been many places over the many years of my existence, and I've found that in the End, it doesn't really matter and Only one of us walks away...And I guarantee that it will be me that walks away. I can assure you of that. Come Rock and Write with me, we all have a good story or two to tell, so come share your story with me today. A Group One with Troy 7/17/02 What sort of Ivy needs an operation? An Ivy wearing Red Pants? To watch the color of the cat inside each And every one who cares about red and All of its colors in general. But the comfort of nature's touch Gently caresses with teeming minerals Watching the life grow around us Like a big mind inside our brain Or a rolling truck with windows down, Music coming out or ears Or perhaps the windows are simply Rolled down Down and up as if all of the movements Consist only of rising and falling and not Of Colors or gently caresses with...what do you call it again? Calling? Do I get my name to you now? I'm called... Here and Now with the windows rolled Down, so you can clearly hear it. Up and down, where else can I go now! Or did I ever leave, did you really even go Cuz we really never leave here It has always been here But where is Here, Really? You can tell pants are lonely When they don't have any ankles This place wears pants Therefore, we are not gone Because the pants already left Up and Down...As one closes eyes to open them Again to the 'Here' place and every going Feels like it is the last and you call names Wording 'Leaving' into 'Staying'...up and Down-in all directions, in all colors For all of the cats in the world of 'Here' And 'Now' Overburdened Hills gently slough off The springtime’s growth of yesteryear The wind sighs to hear the seas And swaying sounds of to-and-fro Brings back even sounds from long ago Another Sigh of yester-year... As autumn falls upon us and Indian Summer begins, the sun rises above the fog-laden banks of the harbor. Foghorns that bleat incessantly as another new day begins. Is this for Real, or is it just Sur-Real kuz I can hardly keep my eyes open to observe the world going by. Another day to fight the world no more Forever in this insanity of Violence the world has become. In this day and age, we have become abstract. Some people Really just don't get it at all, do they? I mean, how hard is it to figure out that someone doesn't want to talk to anyone at all when he or she has headphones on and staring off into Space? Is it that Fucking Hard? Is common sense that lacking in this world? I guess it is. Try an experiment with this one day. Sit down with a book and put some headphones on one day and see how quickly someone comes up and starts trying to talk to you. It will happen practically in an instant. I can't even relate to over half of the people in this fucking city, much less the world, so how do I communicate this to all these sleeping, lost souls on this FUCT planet? Overprotective, insecure, unknowing fools...Clueless Thoughtless Scheming I say the LAPD is useless, and a waste of taxpayer dollars and our time. They are always hassling people who AREN'T doing anything wrong, while the actual wrongdoers are getting away with everything. It's like they're afraid they are actually going to have to do what they are supposedly getting paid to do. "Oh, Dear, I might actually have to do some work!" I say do away entirely with the LAPD and get rid of those wastes of space, and bring in the National Guard and let them handle all the Gang Bangers and scum that pollute our streets! FUCK THE POLICE! They're all racing and hurtling towards Death and oblivion without a clue as to what they are missing in between. And if they are aware even somewhat, they just don't give a shit. No, I'm not looking at you, I'm looking THROUGH you, and you don't interest me at all... You're just in my way. The crows are gathering on the telephone poles all around the coffee shop. I'm curious to see what's going to happen next. Okay, a hawk tried to kill a pigeon and all the crows ganged up on the hawk to save the pigeon or the hawk I'm not sure yet. But I'll tell you the power here right now is indescribable. It's sheer, Raw power. I have seen crows/ravens take down a hawk before out on Catalina. When do I get to know WHY? Hey Miss Ocifer, Just because you wear a uniform, badge and gun doesn't mean you own the fucking world, you stupid Wench! What makes you so special that you think you can push anyone out of your way while you're on duty? What exactly was it that happened when you were a little girl to give you such a fucked up attitude now? Did someone "touch" you in the "Bad Place" or something or is it just that you don't get laid enough because you work for the fucking Highway Patrol? Jeez, fucking lighten up, you squeeze your sphincter any tighter and it's gonna fucking Burst! Did you know that there is actually a right direction to face a roll of Toilet Paper? And when faced the 'right' direction, it goes faster, too... What is it that makes people want to change their sexual identities? Shit, Government agencies are about as useless as the LAPD nowadays. They are nothing but senseless drones who don't even enjoy existing much less than doing their job right to begin with. If people in their positions would just take the extra couple of seconds to do their jobs right; it would make a whole lot of difference in how the world works. Indifference really fucks things up in general and you can royally ruin your day especially when you are on the receiving end of it. Stop, I can barely understand what you are saying to me, it's way too early to try and take in so much at once. At least let me get my nap in before you start talking! SHAMAN WOODCHUCK No offense, but I'm here for myself right now. I'm here for my coffee and to sit quietly and watch the world wake up while I drink my coffee. I walk where angels fear to Tread. Take of your shoes and free your Sole/Soul. "I'm Triple-A: Ass, Alcohol, and Airplanes". Not much more than that, except maybe some music made in between. "And don't bother me with anything Else". Sometimes the strangest things can be heard sitting here at Anywhere, U.S.A. Very unique viewpoints, strange opinions and outlooks on life. They all change from day to day, hour to hour, person to person. The ebb and flow of life here is very unique like each person that passes through here. Overheard conversations from a whole other parallel universe that may be wholly twisted and perverse in comparison to ours, or are we the twisted and perverse ones really? If we really just take a step back and actually hold the mirror up to ourselves and take a really good look, we might be shocked and amazed. In the entire whole universe has there been anything even remotely as violent as our race? We turn out to be the twisted, pathetic ones in here really. Science sure has taken us far in our understanding of the Universe but a lot of things remain yet to be explained. Hidden doors open in front of us all the time, but we don't always see them... Parables of Delirium if you may, plant a seed from far away. Picture this: A psychotic Boat Captain posing as an Industrial Waste Removal Technician (a.k.a. Septic Tank Emptier Guy) takes over an Acapulco Restaurant after hours with a meat cleaver and a .45 and a Zippo lighter...? (I'll get to the Zippo in a minute...) So, anyways, the psycho Boat Captain is Named Joey or something like that, and he's threatening to cut everyone in the room up and cook them on the chairs from all around the restaurant, piled in the center of the room, bonfire style. (Zippo, please) Now, Why? you may ask, is this man thinking of doing such a thing to his fellow Human beings? What drives someone to a point such as this drastic account? Think really hard on that one... just turn on your TV Psycho Cows on Lithium with nothing better to do than throw marshmallows at the passers by. A supernatural theory of a Sur-Real notion put forth by the concept of the make-believe becoming believable, or made real. Can you conceive of such a thing? Can You HEAR ME NOW? How bout now? Can you handle looking directly at me? Can you really handle looking me in the eye after Reading all of this? Will you still take me so seriously? (Cereally?) I am Me and this is Really You. I'm at your house right now, here, use my phone to give me a call at your house, you invited me into your house. Don't you remember? My pen has died and the story has been told, what more do you want from me? I think I'll go outside and play now! BITE ME...ECT...Only kidding... Small glimpses of the Past haunt me wherever I go in the day. Sometimes it's a glimpse of "HER" sitting contently off in a corner somewhere. Sometimes I see Her drive by in a car or walking by in a group of people. Somebody will mention something that triggers a memory of just how happy we thought we were with each other and how easily we can fool ourselves about Reality. I mean, What is really going on behind those beautiful eyes in that pretty little head of yours? I want to split your head open like a cantaloupe so I can see what's on your mind! Really, I do. Because you keep so much to yourself I'm left to wonder exactly what IS going on. You leave me so confused; I don't know whether I'm coming or going or even somewhere in-between... Somewhere, Lost between Love and Hate... Pull me outta this shit before I suffocate... I'm doing all I can not to tempt fate... While I work so hard not to aggregate... This situation I find ourselves in again... And all the while I'm trying to find a way back in.. To your Hearts door... I'm getting sore... From when you slam the door... In my face again... Why can't it all be just cut and dry, black and white, here or there, not all this gray I see before me (purgatory). When I do find Her, how is it going to be? Am I even going to be able to handle it without losing my kewl? I'm not a machine; I have a soul and a conscious awareness of morality and Feelings too. I'm cursed for Eternity with this gift of being Creative, and I must share this with Everyone everyday or else I will get sick and die, only to wither away in some dark corner of my own soul. It's a fate known only to the Gifted (Special?) people such as myself. Must I truly just remain alone so as not to contaminate any of the innocent souls trying to reach this level of consciousness that is my curse? How do you explain something like that to a prospective mate? Do you not tell them at all and let them discover "You" on their own, or do you just yell, "Surprise! I'm a Fucking Freak of nature who thinks he is a God?" Hmmmmmmm! "You're a mutha-fucking piece of shit and you'll never amount to NOTHING!" Are you For Real? Am I really truly here at all? Where is Here? Why is Now? Sickness, Dis-Ease. Have you been inside the New Masterpiece? Time for your medication Mr. LaRouche. Don't fight it, we're doing this for your own good because you have refused to participate in the group activities of the Obvious. It's too late to save yourself from yourself. Obviously you don't give a damn kuz we are killing ourselves and we don't even seem to notice. Counterfeit people existing in space that isn't even their own. Living on Borrowed time and space in between Here and There. Do you "Follow"? I'm my own and do and go Wherever, Whenever I want to. Go far away and be small. I see you for what you really are and I don't like what I see. I can see through you, don't you remember? You invited me in, okay; so don't get all offended because I'm already there. From time to time, Death stops by my house to play some pool, shoot some darts and drink some Brewskies with me. You should meet Death some time; he's not a bad guy. He's really kewl people. I'm not begging for your fucking change, I'm begging for A fucking change. Can't you see that yet? It's not that hard, Jeez... You can't kill the alien kuz I'm already dead, Fool! I'm already inside you, ripping you apart from the inside out, K? Let me take a bite out of that shit you call a heart kuz you're a FAKE, Counterfeit. Keep giving me your wanna-be justifications for your Reality. Come see the Real Beauty of Life all around us, K? Can you handle that bit of Reality? Come on, I dare you to tell me I'm FINE (Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional) I really dare you. I've lost all focus and have become a failure thanks to you and your fucked up existence. I don't need your sympathy or empathy inside of ME!