Mike and I have been together for about 3 yrs. now. Both coming out of failed relationships, we had our share of button- pushing. I guess you would say, we felt we had to test one another's boundaries and commitments to each other. Scared to actually step out of our safety zones and afraid of being hurt again.
Alone, I had been through one traumatic experience after another. I was a single mother battling not only poverty but
the government as well. I have 2 children, each with individual problems of their own, My oldest, Cole, my son, had emotional problems I couldn't, reach or fix, no matter how much I desired it. Cheyenne, my daughter, with a handicap of her own, she was born with Down's Syndrome, but given the mother I am, I had always denied the fact, pushing her own limits of strengths and never letting her give in to her weakness, fighting every professional who tried to stand in our way, or putting her in a stereo-typed category, This was bittersweet, in both rewarding, and very challenging. It could be best described as walking in a landmine owned by the enemy of a great war. I had built a wall so tall and thick, I didn't think anybody would have been able to get through.
What seemed a world away, was my knight, going through hardships of his own. His wife of 27 years was finally at her breaking point. They had been through hell that wasn't getting any better for them. She had some infection that had gotten her legs amputated. Mike had been her only caretaker for some time, she was slowly deteriorating, besides her blood being contaminated with the infection, she was also loosing herself mentally and spiritually. Mike had described it once as reaching inside someone you used to know and care about, trying to pull them out, then realizing you could no longer reach them, like that there was nothing there. She was no
Mike and I have been together for about 3 yrs. now.Both coming out of failed relationships, we had our share of button- pushing. I guess you would say, we felt we had to test one another's boundaries and commitments to each other. Scared to actually step out of our safety zones and afraid of being hurt again.
Alone, I had been through one traumatic experience after another. I was a single mother battling not only poverty but
the government as well. I have 2 children, each with individual problems of their own, My oldest, Cole, my son, had emotional problems I couldn't, reach or fix, no matter how much I desired it. Cheyenne, my daughter, with a handicap of her own, she was born with Down's Syndrome, but given the mother I am, I had always denied the fact, pushing her own limits of strengths and never letting her give in to her weakness, fighting every professional who tried to stand in our way, or putting her in a stereo-typed category, This was bittersweet, in both rewarding, and very challenging. It could be best described as walking in a landmine owned by the enemy of a great war. I had built a wall so tall and thick, I didn't think anybody would have been able to get through.
What seemed a world away, was my knight, going through hardships of his own. His wife of 27 years was finally at her breaking point. They had been through hell that wasn't getting any better for them. She had some infection that had gotten her legs amputated. Mike had been her only caretaker for some time, she was slowly deteriorating, besides her blood being contaminated with the infection, she was also loosing herself mentally and spiritually. Mike had described it once as reaching inside someone you used to know and care about, trying to pull them out, then realizing you could no longer reach them, like that there was nothing there. She was no longer in her right mind, and was falling so far so fast that the harder he tried to save and pull her out the deeper they both fell back. With each step on that roller coaster ride, they journeyed together, his soul began to harden and his brick wall was built. It got so bad for him that she had to be institutionalized. In the end , he felt he gave her 27 years, but, he could no longer in spirit, do it any longer. He signed over all legal right over to her daughter, walking away , trying to reclaim his lost spirit and find his misplaced soul longer in her right mind, and was falling so far so fast that the harder he tried to save and pull her out the deeper they both fell back. With each step on that roller coaster ride, they journeyed together, his soul began to harden and his brick wall was built. It got so bad for him that she had to be institutionalized. In the end , he felt he gave her 27 years, but, he could no longer in spirit, do it any longer. He signed over all legal right over to her daughter, walking away , trying to reclaim his lost spirit and find his misplaced soul
