Dedicated to all those female single thirtysomethings who dearly wish to be sexbombs but can't quite pull it off!
I am a thirty something.
I met a guy named Paul.
He really was delightful
in fact, he had it all!
He took me to a hotel
a lovely stately home
he looked at me seductively
switched off his mobile phone
We dined and he romanced me
bought me flowers and wine
then whisked me up the staircase
to room one ninety nine
Naked he did carry me
into the bathroom suite
he'd filled the place with candles
put down the toilet seat!
He placed me in the bubbles
and gave a sensual laugh
but the ambiance soon vanished
when I farted in the bath.
