Divorce after 12 1/2 years doesnt come easily no matter how much you want it. I miss my girls..we share them equally and this has been the hardest time of my life ever! They are with their dad during the week for school since I was the one that had to move out since I was the one that wanted the divorce. I get them on the weekends and the hardest is taking them home on Sundays! I can't tell you how many times I've come back to my apartment and cried. My ex seems to think that I have no emotion over any of this...I just choose to not show it freely! In one more week (school will be out) they will be with me during the week and I can't wait for all that time with them. My girls mean the world to me but I will be honest and tell you I wouldn't stay married for them. I've noticed over the years that the philosphy of staying together for the kids has changed. Its not always better to do that! Even though I was married for so long I'm still so young! I have such a life ahead of me yet and no matter what I will still be the best mom I can be and will always put my girls first! It's all hard but I take it one day at a time. That's all I can do otherwise I believe I would have a freaking mental breakdown. I love my girls! That's all that matters now...
