Icarus's blog: "Somantics"

So there I was not looking at porn.

... it happens shut up.

When I realized Xmas came and went.
I call this one
"Cashew Christmas".

Its sad and poignant at the same time.

I could go on for an hour about how much it touched me but I was too busy not doing that.

I've hardly broken even this year kids.
I gave my mom some fancy ass nightlight with "switcheable" faceplates. Glass faceplates. Nice ones.
Gave my dad his favorite golfballs (he got at least 100 this xmas from everyone else)
Gave my brother display figurines from Chrono Trigger
and my sister in law amethyst prayer beads

What I got:
Kidou Senshi Gundam Senki 0081 (its a Japanese import that I have to get a Hongkong or Japanese Playstation network account to play 2/3's of) But god damn it is awesome and or fun.
With TONS of mobile suits.
A mastergrade 2.0 Zeta Gundam (totally badass)
a playboy nudey calander
some awesome artsy robot windup toy (its weird and hard to explain but there was an inchworm, a spark maker, and one that has six legs and hops around)
A couple shirts.
A goofy tie (promptly hucked it away)
a couple gift cards (for like .. 5$ to stores I don't patronize)
$70 (which I've spent more than that on gas driving to and from Topeka for one day trips)
and
a tin of cashews.
That's right.
A fucking tin of cashews from my grandmother who has managed to blow $100,000 dollars+ on pyramid schemes and snakeoil in a relatively short period of time.
I almost felt sorry for her, then I remembered that this woman almost literally burns money.

So far Clover has managed to drip blood in every room
Gone through a package of depends
and pissed on the floor in the kitchen.
No one knows why she did this.
She didn't bug me or anyone else to go outside.
And I must state I'm
MORE than tired of chasing after this dog to make sure she doesn't get puppy heat blood everywhere, and take her out by myself in 20 degree or colder weather.

As my more loyal readers will know- every christmas (except last christmas with the blizzard) we open presents Xmas day, eat breakfast, and go to Topeka for family christmas.
I now have a flat tire, was nearly killed by an idiot driver, spent way too much on gas for someone that doesn't have a job and DROVE 10 hours in 36.
I got to play Gundam for about 4 hours before bed and before driving back to my folks' house after soup christmas.

I'm fairly used to this.
"awesome stuff! ... okay now get in the car we'll be back in a week".

In Topeka I got the $70, the complete first season of DnD the animated adventure (fuck yeah bargain bin gems) and I pilfered a couple cookbooks my aunt didn't want to move to her new house.

What did WE have for xmas dinner?
Fucking
Soup.

That's right.
I campaign for roast beef and REAL food that I'D cook and do the dishes if it meant
NO FUCKING SOUP CHRISTMAS
and BAM
soup christmas.
Fuckers...

Yeah... I totally needed to drive 10 hours (part of which on a flat tire, YEY! slow leaks that you can't notice while driving)
spend all that money on gas
spend the better part of 2 days doing nothing I enjoy
for
$70
and DnD the animated adventure.

Totally could not have picked that up in three weeks for my birthday.

Oh well, back at the ranch its almost 100% good times.
Playing Magic with my brother, (getting my ass kicked since I haven't built a NEW deck in years and he has 6 new decks), plenty of takehome chef, and occasionally I get awesome chinese food or to help cook dinner.
Mom's a control freak so I don't always get to cook what I want how I want, and she usually gives me a prepjob despite acknowledging my cooking prowess more than once.

That's kinda how it is with mom.
The first time I loaded the dishwasher the way SHE wanted it to, the way she told me to
she saw me do it, changed how she did it, moved me aside and started redoing it with the system she just made up in her head.
I looked aghast to my brother and my father and said
"that's it, I'm never loading your dishwasher again".

This is the same woman that popped a 5 year old in the head and said "do it my way" for not tying his shoes "the right way". And the same woman that made me and my brother vaccuum the walls.

I have joked, repeatedly this trip that she is insufferably particular, and "no one can do anything right with you around".
My brother and I really are afraid of doing things the wrong way now.

If you ask us to help with something- we don't just jump straight in, we need the extra 30 seconds (minimal) of you telling us how you want it done, and "are we doing this right?". Usually when my mom asks me to do something, I can ask her how, ask her why, ask her where, tell her to show me how at least once
and she'll follow me, watch me while I do it
and redo it once I'm done.

Not
a
joke.

Dad's dad. He works, he comes home, reads the paper, passes a joke, and lays in his spot on the couch flipping channels or telling me about one of his favorite movies (then we watch one of his favorite movies) and then we might catch the news (again) or worse... entertainment news, and latenight. Then bed.
He's at his best at Monday/Sunday football. Saturday/Sunday Golf on TV, before/after movies, or at lunch.
That man loves to go out to eat and just... kinda cut loose.
Mom hates it cus it costs money.
I dunno... I see him smile a lot as it is, but maybe moreso when he's out, there's no TV on or within walking distance and people are forced to converse.

I'm going to go to bed.
I'm not going to tell you about being devastatingly depressed and hopeless, or the sad, strange conversation my grandmother and I had on Boxing day.
Instead I'm going to go upstairs.
Lay down on my favorite bed, on my bloodstained sheets with not enough blankets
and spoon my big
crazy
dim dog.
She keeps me alive in these desolate winters.