What a night. Just tossing and turning..so here I am. I went to bed tired..but body is sore..and mind doesn't want to rest. I left work early to go to moms lastnight. She seems to be doing ok. Shes just glad all the suffering is over with my uncle..and so am I. These last 2 months have been pretty rough on my family. I got a ton of thoughts going through my head..though. I feel sorry for my cousins.who are younger than me. They had to see there dad go through this. They were never close to him..until these last 2 months when they realized he was dying. Sad to think about that.
My cousin richard..hes really taking it bad. Alot I think because he feels guilty for missing out with being with his dad. He would not leave his room yesterday my mom said. Anyways, been thinking about them. Thinking about my own parents. My dad had surgery in November..and it was hard to see that. I know tons of people have surgeries..etc. My dad is not one to go to a Dr. though unless its major. The last few times I been to visit them, I have noticed how they are aging. Guess its starting to catch up with me that they are no young chicks anymore. My dad was diagnosed with diabetes in October also. Hes lost a ton of weight. You would at least think thats a good thing, loosing weight. He looks really old and skinny now though. Rather him be way he use to be. I look at my mom..and just see her as tired. She works way to hard. This has all been going through my head as I try to sleep tonight. I see my kids growing up. Guess age has finally caught up with me..although my age hasn't bothered me yet. I have been having some problems personally also. (premenopausal I believe). Its truly amazing how much stuff can run through your head. I was even lying in bed..thinking of my friend who told me I should use some moisturizer so I don't get wrinkles..etc..when I get older. LOL. I have been lucky not to have those problems yet..but I think I will be making a trip to town today..and buying some. I just feel my family slowly slipping away. First my granny 2 yrs ago..now my uncle. Theres noone on my dads side. There's cousins..but none that I know. Theres only a few on my moms side. Thinking of my uncle passing away has brought back memories again of my Grandma. I was so close to her. She was my best friend for many years. I know this blog bounces from one thing to another.. just way my head is working tonight. Maybe I will go now and try to get some sleep. Sorry have not been very talkative. I am not good with death. Do not know what to say to people..etc. This is hard..and I hate calling hours the most. I am already thinking about that..and getting sick from the thought of it.
