i have to learn how to let go...i have to learn how to say goodbye...i must leave what will never be...regardless of how i feel...i must train myself not to give in...it's not worth it anymore nor is it healthy...how i forgot who meant something to me...she's 10 blocks away from me and always was my bestfriend...my soul mate...and i'm finally reunited with her...but is it enough i question myself...am i satified fully...or do i want more...do i need more...my problem stems from deep with in...how i become bored with what i have after i've gotten it...the whole chase until the catch is what keeps me going and then it fades...maybe i'm crazy and need therapy...i'm forgetting how to love again...maybe because i've isolated myself so much over the years...i've dehumanized myself...i wish i couldn't feel anything any more and even maybe never meet the people i have recently....i use to say better have loved then never to have loved...i'm beging to think that's a bunch of shit...then again maybe i'm just hurting...going thru the motions...i'm numb! fuck it! i don't care any more!
