by....redo..Billy Lost Blog by dogs tsila
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dogs tsila's blog: "by....redo..Billy Lost"

created on 03/26/2010  |  |  1 followers

I was mesmerized the first time that I saw you
words failed me then I will admit that it is true
but you were sweet and made me more at ease
and I found we fit together pretty as will please
As time passed the feeling grew ever stronger
until I found that I could not deny it anymore
I had to overcome my fears and say it to you
those three little life changing words "I love you"
We have had more time and still love grows
my loving feeling for you constantly shows
I will not promise you that there will be strife
for it will always be a part of everyone's life
I can promise that as you face the unknown
that you will never have to face it all alone.

I once had myself the most wondrous fantasy
no it was not real but it seemed so real to me
I dared to dream that you were in love with me
but now what a fool I am is plain for all to see

I gave you all I had, it was not enough though
you used me for a while and then let me go
looking back now I can easily see it was so
but living in that fantasy, how was I to know?

I know that I will find the right lady for me
and loving each other, how blessed we will be
But you will spend you life always on the go
never finding the one that you could love so

A pity that you will never know the gift of love
or realize that it can be a gift from up above
That in the end all you have you surely will lose
but it is the kind of life that you did choose

You tell me that you love me, but how do I know for sure,
is there any way known that can show your love is pure?
Is it a matter of faith that I must just assume to be true
must I go through life hoping that I am still loved by you?

I always do my best to show you how much I truly care
it is my every thought to make you happy and be there
in hopes that you will never have a doubt about my love.
I always want you to think of me as a gift from up above.

I see all the things that you do for me and do appreciate,
I worry so much that I will miss a sign until it is too late.
We all have heard of the man who has sex just before
then he leaves his house to go out and find some whore.

There are women that will kiss their husband and then
they will head off to have sex with some strange men.
So I am left to wonder if there is a sure way to ever know
that your partner will be faithful and still loves you so?

I hopped upon the internet and not true love to ever seek
more out of curiosity, just wanting to have a quick peek
I have met some people there from all over this grand earth
and a few have become close friends, for what it's worth

I have counseled people from far away and others near
all most need is someone that will not judge to lend an ear
just a trusted shoulder to cry on when life gets too tough
a sympathetic soul that'll listen when they have had enough

I never thought about thing like if their profile was real
because their pain and emotions were, that I could feel
Then one day quite unexpectedly I happened upon you
and now I find myself wondering all the time "What is true?"

"What do you want in life and what are you trying to do?"
"Is that exquisite picture that mesmerizes me really you?"
"Have I been seduced from afar by your grace and charm?"
"Why am I thinking these things and will you do me harm?"

"Is there any chance that you wonder these things too?"
rather the answer is yes or no, what is it that I should do?
What about you that has somehow worked it's way inside
should I now run away or is it already too late to try to hide?

I can sense the hurt and pain that you have been through,
but is all the rest of what your profile shows really you?
If it is not, can I believe anything that you have to say?
and mostly "What am I to do if you do not feel this way?"

I often just sit and wonder "what do you see in me?"
how could even a friendship with such an angel be?
What is it that you seem to sense that others do feel?
It overwhelms to the point that i wonder if you're real.
Will I awaken in the morning to find myself all alone,
crying my heart out over where and why you've gone?
Or has fate finally smile on me for being a good man
and sent to me an angel that will love and understan'?
I guess the future will show what happens and how,
I am going to relish life and love in the here and now.
All say that you are an angel standing here with me
but when I look in the mirror I wonder what you see.

Mourn not for me this task that I set myself to do
It is just an expression of the love I have for you
I take my self into battle and know that I may die
when I am gone I heartedly beg you do not cry
It is I who volunteered to give my life as a Marine
so that you could live your life as you have been
I will die with honor, the same way that I did live
But it is not for honor that my one life I shall give
It is a duty of the heart for those that I love so
you my fellow countrymen are why I freely go.
So do not shed a tear for me when I am dead
but pay due respect to those left in my stead.

To some you are not the fairest to ever walk this land
I know to some your looks seem a bit dull or bland
for some prefer models like in all those magazines
others some famous actress playing out her scenes

Well they are more than welcome to have their fantasy
but none of them could compare to my joyous reality
of having a lovely angel like you here to share my life
reality becomes fantasy when you become my wife.

So let the dreamers dream and have their fantasy
and I will live mine out as long as you are with me
and when time here has passed for you and me,
we will then still have each other for all of eternity.

Upon some subjects I have been known to wonder,
but there is one that I so often find that I do ponder.
I wonder when and why disposable we all became,
to many now just a number without your name?
We are now Human Resources instead of Personnel
and there are other things that the story does tell.
People now call all the others they know a friend,
but know that they will not be there until the end.
Wierd terms like "Starter Marriage" now do exist
admitting before that their love will never persist.
Whatever happen to having a love for all your life
and understanding forever as husband and wife?
It makes sense there are so many broken-hearted
knowing nobody will miss you when you're departed,
for if disposable is the way that others you do see
surely the condemning term must also apply to thee!

I wish that I could find the words to show you how I feel
the right ones to let you see those feelings are so real
I know that to one as lovely as yourself others have lied
and can not imagine all the pick-up lines they have tried.
I know they have because of your beauty made you prey
and so you are hesitant to believe the words that I say.
I know that they are only words, not as powerful as deeds
while I will be there to try to fill all your wants and needs
it takes time for it to show through deeds that I am true.
It scares me that someone else will find the words for you.
I am more than willing to take the time so that you see
that all I want from you is love throughout all eternity,
but the thought that someone will find the words instead
causes my heart to break and feels me with such dread.
Does it require that I rip my beating heart out of my chest
and lay it there at your feet to as it starts it's final rest
as it beats it's final beat and as I slowly die for only you
would you then know that one had loved you so true?

The sun wants to burn a hole in the cloudy sky
the clouds remain steadfast and begin to cry
they know what has happened to you and I
wish to help me hide what falls from my eye

I can not help but wonder how they even knew
that this terrible end had come for me and you
Who could have told them you had been untrue
and the about the awful things that you did do

It must have been the moon, for he saw it all
he must have rushed to gossip with a call
That means that soon the word of my downfall
will be spread far ans wide and known by all

It matters not the damage done to my pride
nor even that now I can not my torment hide
they already know of my agony deep inside
but why did I ever want you to be my bride?

Cry on misty clouds and help me all you can
you seem to be the only ones that understan'
perhaps I will be able to still act like a man
though I no longer care to have a future plan

I was foolish enough to love and give my heart
to you who then misused it and tore it all apart
and now I know that I truly was not very smart
I just wish that I had known it from the start.

Now I am left to deal with this torment and pain.
Will I be able to trust my gullible heart again?
If ever healed should from love I forever refrain?
Until then my dear clouds please let it rain.

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