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well...still stuck in pattaya...parked my bike and the ground was slippery...dropped my bike...broke the case and oil started flowing like nobody's business...so yeah...had to leave it in the workshop again...maybe it's a sign...a sign for the things to come...so yeah i was stuck...had to stay longer than expected...so hung out in my friend's pub as usual...that's when i met tommy... he's with some of my biker friends and our eyes met...somehow it's a mutual attraction...we started talking and i felt the chemistry...asked if he had a gf and he anwered not sure and i left it as that...later while i was talking to some friends...he came over and said infact...he had a girlfriend...i wondered why...was he afraid i'd lost interest in him if he told me right away that he had one?? anyway...i knew our paths will meet again... second night...i went on a date with him 'coz we had such good laughs together...and i thought it's just harmless fun...well i've already broken rules no. 1 & 2...never date a biker...never date someone who's already taken... we had such fun...both goofy and we laughed and talked and just goof around...after spending the night in the pubs in the walking street in pattaya...we went back to my friend's pub...and continued drinking...all my friends gave me the funny look 'coz they knew my rules... :( they've never seen me on a date before...and some of them thought i was a dike anyway... most of them approved somehow...and some are jealous...the first biker man i went out with... as the night was almost over...we didn't wanna part...so i asked if he'd like to spend the night with me and he said yes... we made sweet love...and my heart melted...broke rule no.3...love them and leave them...we both admitted we broke all the rules...mine and his...made another mistake by staying on when i should be leaving...guess i hadn't felt that way in a long time...being safe and happy in someone's arms...going to bed and waking up in two strong arms...i felt good...he made me feel like a woman...if you knew me well...you'd understand why i said woman...no...i'm not gay...he made me felt loved and wanted...but could this be love?? he showed me off to all his friends...and mine too lol...and i've never been touched in my heart like this in such a long time... two nights later he had an accident...and i blamed myself...we're in a pub when his friend asked him to join some other friends in another pub...told me it'll be an hour...when he came back to get me...a car hit his bike and ran away...he called me from the hospital and first thing i did was cried in his arms while he lay there getting his wounds cleaned and dressed...i hadn't cried for a man in such a long time..i guess i knew then i felt more than i thought...i was falling... somehow...he's not good with words...and i never knew what he really felt... i wished i'd know for sure...guess he had to clear the mess in his head before he could let me know...but i'm not staying to wait for an answer...so yeah i decided to leave before it's too late...and if he'd asked me to stay...i would have...but he didn't... the night before i left...he was so heavily drugged...i was just laying there watching him sleeping...touched his face so gently...kissing his eyes...his nose...his lips...i knew i'm heading for a heartbreak...i sneaked out of bed when the time came...he opened his eyes and told me to take care and dozed right off...i blamed the drugs...but was i certain?? i told myself i'd feel better when i hit the road...the freedom i felt on my bike on the road...i kept telling myself i'll feel better...a romantic notiion...riding into the sunset...with bugs in my teeth...dirt in my hair...tears in my eyes...just riding into the sunset...but let me tell you something..that's alot of crap...it still hurts a hell of a lot!!! still i'd like to think it's romantic...me and my bike...riding into the sunset.. at least i'd loved for a few days...what more could i ask??? dream as if i'll live forever...live as if i'll die tomorrow... yeah so here i am...riding into the sunset...
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