"All it takes is 1 person to f**k up you mind" was my status last night, and then I was reminded that "all it takes is 1 person to fix it." A week ago I would have laughed at anyone who said the latter of the two phrases to me. You see I had been lead to believe that I was second rate, that I was not good enough to actually be a girlfriend or even someone that was being dated all under the guise that he "wasn't ready for a relationship". It messed with my mind more than I think he even knows and now is claiming that I hurt him.....4 months of loving someone and giving them all you have and receiving very little to no reciprocation can wear a person's mind, heart and soul.
I was lucky late one night I encountered a person like no other, someone who understood where I was and where I had been. Our souls melded as we read one another's writings, the deep dark ones that were rarely if ever shared with others because they would not understand or think we were crazy, but we understood in fact it felt as though we had written the other's poems because we had each been in that place.
He held a proverbial mirror up to me to show me the hurt I was living in and offered to share is strength and courage to me in order to help me break free....and I did, giving in only once but then through his strength I pulled myself completely free.
I thought once I had escaped that things would be better, but I am now realizing that leaving was just the beginning of a long journey as I work to believe what I now hear and to forget what used to be said to me and how I often felt. The journey will be a long and arduous one, but with him by my side I believe that I will make it to my final destination in his arms.
