Broken dreams and promises, Madness and suicide
Broken dreams and promises urge flight from here. My spirit cries for freedom from the memory. I can’t go the road they call me down, only madness lays ahead. Once again I have seen the truth, and the truth is a lie. No conviction no sentence only eternal desire without fulfillment. I remember too much, I cannot forget, I would trade all of the memories for just an ounce of forgetfulness. I have been cursed with a desire for which there is no satiation. No cup without a bottom can ever be filled, for it is not a cup, only a conduit to some other place where nothing can be felt or experienced or remembered.
Madness and suicide struggle for possession of this spirit of mine, but madness is the stronger,, in madness lay forgetfulness . The way of suicide is madness. Paradox? Possibly. But for now I will limp on. Damaged beyond repair. My will and mind are forever disabled. Only promises keep me here. You see I keep my promises, even when I no longer wish to. Death would be a kinder thing, a more merciful foe. Damaged, deranged and impotent I fall. To madness I will give my mind, in that way perhaps some form of forgetting will be accomplished.
Perhaps the song holds the key to forgetting. Perhaps “Rest In Pieces” is an eternal truth that needs re evaluation.…. What better way to deal with broken dreams and promises than with a shattered mind? A lifetime of struggle would be forgotten. A world that takes advantage of all who cannot live inside its bounds would be served well by this.
Perhaps I simply have cheated the mother too often, and now she demands a retribution. Perhaps she will teach me how to fly. Perhaps she will tell me why the Buck is willing to die to have a bevy of does to service. Starvation and sickness claiming him, because of his unwillingness to stop and eat because in his obsession to procreate. And once his seeds are all planted he is weak and vulnerable, madness and suicide will claim him too. The world is no easy place to live, nature is a hard taskmistress. She will have her due, no matter what the personal cost.
Entropy reigns supreme. There is no heaven. This is hell. We struggle to live, but in the end we all die. We all will fail. There is no hope. There is no future. There is no forever, time wears away all things even the hardest stone becomes dust under its relentless eroding power.
Broken dreams and promises. Madness and suicide. How alike they are in their efforts to help entropy in its eternal task of ending all things.
