BOOTY CALL APPLICATION
The Booty Call Agreement:
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to herein as the “Agreement”) is entered into as of the _________ day of __________, 20____.
1. No sleeping over.
2. No meeting in public.
3. No calls I will call you!!
4. None of that “love making” shit.
5. No emotional discussions… (Where are we heading with this? You know where we it is heading!! Straight to the bedroom or truck.)
6. No plans made in advance… that’s why you’re called the “backup”.
7. No non-sexual gifts. (Altoids and candles not included.)
8. No baby talk. (However, dirty talk is encouraged.)
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (In fact, no conversations are a plus)
10. No kissing (too intimate)
11. No calling each other “friends with benefits” (We are not friends, and we never will be.)
12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK. (Phrases such as, “honestly I was thinking about “Orlando Bloom/Brad Pitt” are completely acceptable)
13. No extra clothing (I don’t want you leaving anything behind that my real man might find.)
14. No guilt about falling asleep right after sex.
15. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you enjoyed it, I don’t care. I’ll get mine and you worry about yours.
16. I will not walk you to the door/car for any reason.
17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, “My roommate’s girlfriend”.
18. Doggie style preferred (rare exceptions when I am tired).
19. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better.
20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes.
EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The before mentioned rules may not be altered or amended for any reason whatsoever. If any party attempts to change or alter any terms of this agreement, this will automatically become null and void and the parties hereto will have no further obligations with arising out of the subject matter hereof.
Signed: _________________________________ and ____________________________
Date: ______________________
APPLICATION FOR BOOTY CALL
Name: ________________________________________________________________
Address: _______________________________________________________________
City: ______________________ State: _________________ Postal/Zip Code: _______
Age: ______ Phone: __________________________
Height: ______________________ Weight: __________________________
Hand size: ________________________ muscle size: ______________________
Married: ___________ Single: _______________ Divorced: _______________
Are your balls real? ______________
Do you like them: sucked ___________ squeezed ___________ other ______________
Explain: ________________________________________________________________
Cock size you prefer?(don’t lie): _________________
Can you stay out late? _____________ How late? _____________ All night? _________
Several days? ____________ How many? ____________
Do you like to be screwed? ________ How often? _________
Do you like oral sex? ___________ Giving? ___________ Receiving? ______________
How about 69? __________ Do you like anal sex? __________
Do you prefer?
1 on 1 ____ double ____ orgy ____
While screwing, do you:
Moan _____ scream ____ cry ____ faint ____ hum ____ whistle ____ yodel ____
Fart ____ sweat ____ scratch ____ bite ____ think of someone else ____
Just lie there ____ read the paper ____ go to sleep ____ all of the above ____
List three positions you like best:
1) _________________________
2) _________________________
3) _________________________
When you cum, do you:
Wiggle ____ wobble ____ twist ____ jerk ____ pant ____ scream ____ cry ____
Or do you hump like hell? _________
Method of screwing preferred:
Fast ____ super fast ____ slow ____ super slow ____ a few minutes ____
An hour or two ____ all night ____
How many times? ____
If you have screwed before, give three references. (Not family members)
Name ________________________________________________________
Address ______________________________________________________
City ______________________ State ________ Postal/Zip Code _________
Phone _________________________
Name ________________________________________________________
Address ______________________________________________________
City ______________________ State ________ Postal/Zip Code _________
Phone _________________________
Name ________________________________________________________
Address ______________________________________________________
City ______________________ State ________ Postal/Zip Code _________
Phone _________________________
If application is approved, what are the charges?
Free ____ per hour ____ per weekend ____ per week ____ other _______________
Do you accept?
blowjob specials ____
What credit cards do you accept?
Visa ____ MC ____ AMEX ____ Sears ____ Discover ____ Diners Club ____
All of the above ____
A special not pertaining to oral sex:
Do you spit? ____ Swallow? ____
If application is approved, a six (6) week trainning course will be requested!!!!
Applicant signature ________________________________________________
Date ____________________
