THE BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This Booty Call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as the “Agreement”) is entered into on the day of , 2007, by , between
And .
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over – unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM – we don’t have shit to talk about.
4. None of the “lovemaking” shit – only mind blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions – (e.g. – “Where are we heading with this?”, “Do you love me?” – The answer is no, so don’t ask.)
6. No plans made in advance – that is why you are called the “backup”.
***Exception: if you are from out-of-town there is an allowance of a one time
advance arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted! (TIP: Money is always good!!)
8. No baby talk – dirty talk, however, is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers – it’s none of your damned business.
10. No calling each other.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK – don’t be offended.
12. No extra clothing – I don’t want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex – it’s over, so get your ass up and go home.
14. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you enjoyed it -- I don’t care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason and I will not pick you up or give you a ride.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: “My roommate’s girl/boyfriend.”
17. Doggie style preferred – just hit it hard and right or get the hell out!
18. Reason for doggie style is the less eye contact the better. I don’t want to look at you, just fuck you.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME – so don’t keep calling!
20. Bring your own drink – I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please – I don’t want anyone calling back looking for your ass. You will not be here any longer than absolutely necessary.
22. The most important one – no rubbers = no fucking! Carry your ass home.
***EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS***
Only the holder of this agreement may alter the aforementioned rules. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be REMOVED from the BOOTY CALL LIST and DELETED from PHONE MEMORY and E-MAIL LIST; BLOCKED from ALL COMMUNICATIONS until your silly ass learns and understands the rules.
By signing below, you are stating that you know, understand and agree to the aforementioned rules:
Agreement Holder:
Signature Date:
Booty Call List Applicant:
Signature: Date:
