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Crimson Trauma's blog: "Crimson"

created on 09/14/2006  |  http://fubar.com/crimson/b300

Bondage and Sado Masochism

I discoved bdsm at a young age and was instantly fascinated by the culture and way of life surrounding it. Always a computer geek at heart i was looking thru the history on a fiends computer when i came acrossed a website for handcuff bondage. I sat amazed at the beuaty involved in this art and everything about it. I began looking it up on a regular basis both online and in books. Before too long i was looking at my current Vanilla relationship and Determined my place in the lifestyle as a submissive. I looked into all my then relationships with friends and my current g/f and was definatly sure i was submissive based on how i acted around people.

I continued my vanilla relationship only touching upon light bdsm from time to time and always in a playful manner(like tying on another up and harassing tickling the other). This relationship continued until i was 18 when unfortunate events took her away from the world and myself. I spent a long time searching for myself and exactly how i wanted to be while traveling the country for awhile and met Autumn.

Taking a break from traveling Autumn would become my first real d/s relationship and allowed me to expand my limits to levels i had never even imagined. We talked constantly about how we could improve our lives behind closed doors and purchased my first cage which i fell in love with and stored in the living room of her apartment and a dog bed for her room so i could sleep at the foot of her bed when i was good.We spent months doing this and many other bdsm activities but in the end we had to call it quits becuase it wasn't satisfying her as much as she needed sexualy and she really wanted to explore her sexual tension towards women so we called it quits after about 9 months and i was back on the road.

I continued my search for awhile always coming up just short of what i needed in a partnet until i moved to my current home. I joined a group of college age kids in running a convention based purely on bdsm and then branched into other fetishes and discussed things with the general public. We took questions and even did live shows of some of the more basic practices. This is where i met up with my next domme. A crazy sexual deviant with no remorse for anything she does and no limits as too how much she can and will do to please herself. During one of our live shows she stood up walked to the stage grabbed my collar and pulled me off stage to her car to talk. I was so amazed at her ability to take control i gave myself up completely and became hers.

Everything went well for awhile buying toys running convention and having a domme at the house full time was great and we played tons trying to keep her sexual drive at bay but it was to no avail it was too strong of a dirve to be ignored that easy. The relationship continued until she decicded that being a domme wasn't something she could do full time and tried to go switch on me. My mind decayed and broke down at this thought and we ended the relationship quickly on bad terms. Over time we have repared this and are really good friends still to the day.

At this time Miss Alice Skary was talking to me about me becoming a full time slave which i gladly accepted and moved to her home a few months later we traveled around doing photoshoots and playing around the counrty but the traveling son got to me and i missed me stable friends back home. One of which was a cute little sub girl who i adored for helping my mind so much when i was here. I took a bus back home and hooked up with the sub. We had a fun relationship both sharing a cage her former master had gotten her but we never felt fully happy seeing is neither of us could domme the other one and be happy so we ended on a sour note.

I begged Miss Alice to take me bach which she did and we have been toghether ever since only briefly tsaking a break so i can stabilize my financial life so i can better serve her in the near future and not have the stress of having too much debt on my name to fully give up all control to her. Which hopefully will happen very soon as i pay off my debt and continue to write sets for us to make and different things we can do for play.

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