Okay, So I have been with this guy Bobby for the last year and I love him SOO MUCH!!! I would do anything under the sun for this man, everything he asked of me I did. Not because He asked, but because I wanted to....
Anyways, I am gonna take you back thru the last year.... We got together in December of 05 everything was great, until May, when he got scared... (I supose)and cheated on me with two bitches. I left him and didn't talk to him again until August, when we had our lil Ag Days Festival... Well I seen a mutual friend of ours at the beer tent, and I asked about Bobby, and how he was doing, and if he was happy.. Just cause at that point I knew that I still loved him. Anyways, I asked about him... Brian(the mutual friend) Went and found Bobby, to tell him that I was asking about him. I went on about my merry little way.. Next thing I knew there was Bobby, in my face, Kissing me infront of thousands of people. Wow... I thought, He must still care... BUT MY DUMB ASS FELL INTO THE TRAP AGAIN....
The night we seen eachother, I had to save him from going to jail.. (he was fighting some Douche) So I stayed with him that night.. The nxt day he said that he wanted to be with me again, and that he couldn't get me out of his mind. and that he was sorry for the way he had treated me, and now realized that it was a huge mistake... WHAT IS A GRIEVEING GIRL TO DO???
So I took him back.. Made him promise to never break my heart agian. HAHAHA I AM SO FREAKING NIEAVE!!!!! SOMEONE SHOOT ME! LOL
Heres the good part!
Okay so we are back together from aug to Dec.... Christmas was rolling around, and Bobby was going back home to Maryland, to visit his fam for the holidays.. Well he called me everynight, it seemed as tho he missed me, obviously not tho... as you will find out in a second. Okay so back in maryland he has this ex girlfriend named Crystal... He was hanging out with her from the day he got to MD he told her he didn't have a girlfriend, and was trying to get in her pants... Luckly she knows how Bobby is, and she was trying to take things slow. when she told him no like 5 times he finally got the hint. well he was telling her how much he still loved her and that if they would have had a baby when they were together that that would have been the best thing for them. HAHAHAHA... FUCKING DOUCHE! Anyways, Christmas day rolls around and he doesn't even call me until like 11pm.. I was so freaking sad.. Anyways.. It's time for him to come home now to IL.. The day he was coming home... that morning, My world turned upside down. I woke up in this Ridickulas (can't spell) Pain.. I was so soar that I couldn't move. well I tough it and stand up... BLOOD... RUNING... GUSHING... SPOUTING DOWN MY LEGS... it was more blood than I have ever seen at one time. OMG it was HOrrible.. I realized what was happening.. I was pregnant, and didn't know it. He had me so stressed out that I had a miscarriage.(on the day he was coming home) So... This is the shittiest part. He calls me to let me know he is home... and precedes to tell me that insted of spending the day with me he wanted to go play POKER with his friends.. I sigh and say fine.. go... have fun, But Later we have something REALLY SERIOUS to talk about. He said okay I'll call you when I get home...
1:30am rolls around.. he calles... I was pissed about the hour, I couldn't believe that he was calling then. Anyways. I get dressed and go over... I get there he was passed out basicaly on the couch.. he hears me come in and sits up. I sit next to him and try to come up with the words to say..that we had lost a baby. I tell him, he said and I quote "MAYBE WE WILL HAVE TO USE MORE PROTECTION NEXT TIME!" WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHE! I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT WAS COMING OUT OF HIS MOUTH.. He knows what it means to me to be able to have kids.. cause when I was 15 I had cervical cancer, and there is a 75%chance that I can't get preg, and if i do then I probally wouldn't be able to carry it. cause my cervix is so thin... Anyways. yeha It was as if he didn't even care..
WEll... How I found out about this Crystal from MD... Was MYSPACE!!! LOL...
I got this message from this girl. It saod something like So... How long have you and bobby been together... I replied, and she preceded to tell me everything... she felt so horrible, she said that if she would have known about me, then she wouldn't have done anything. But she didn't know... I CAN'T HATE A GIRL THAT IS THAT FUCKING HONEST!!! I mean come one you are in MD and Bobby and I are here.. I would have never known anything about it.. But that girl.. Crystal, She came to me and tried to save me from his scandalus ways.
Well I printed out the whole converstation Crystal and I had. and I took it to him... I handed it to him and said Read! He said what is it and I said just READ IT! So he did... he looked at me and said well this about sums it up right! I couldn't believe how he was being.. I said do you really love her.. he said Yes. I said do you really want to marry her, he said Maybe. I said okay then that is all I needed to know. Have a Nice Day, and preceded to walk out the door... without crying. I was so proud.. but I got to the end of the drive, and broke down... fell to the ground holding myself, It had felt like my soul had just been stolen strait out of my chest.. and my heart felt like it had been shredded.. I couldn't feel anything and I couldn't think I couldn't breath, I thought I was dying.
So I stopped talking to him at all.... I didn't even try to call him for a week. Exactly one week later he calls me at 5am and says and I quote, "Listen... I know you really hate me right now, but I was wondering if you could let my dogs out for me today while I am at work." I was like that is cute bobby.. Really fucking cute.. I can't even believe that you are calling me and asking me for a god damn favor! What are you thinking.. You are goonna fuck me over then ask me to do something for you.. YOU ARE CRAZY and hung up the phone! well a coupple days goes by, and I start to feel bad for they way I was to him on the phone. But I sucked it up and said no to myself. and Told myself that I was not going to call him that I was better than that. So I am on my way to champaign one night, and I got this feeling that he was going to call.. well I am in the porn shop with some girlfriends.. (just lookin around and makin fun of the Kong Dong lol...) and I get a call.. It's Bobby. "I was wondering if you are busey, I think we should talk.." So i told him i would call him on my way back in town to see what he wanted. I no longer than roll up to the first stop sign in town, and my phone starts ringing again.. It's Bobby.. "I was just wondering if you were coming by" So I go over there, he tells me he loves me and starts to break down.. says it took Crystal telling me everything, for him to realize what he had, and how much he truly loved me... So.. me ... the HOPLESS ROMANTIC, took him back again.
ANYWAYS!!! FEBUARY 07
Bobby got a call from someone telling him that his cousin broke into his Gmas house and stole her money and shit.. well he jumped up and fucked his knee up.. so now he has to come up with $15,000 for the surgery, and he is putting himself through school and working. well cause his knee is messed up he cant' work.. that is driving him nuts.. the worst thing is that .. yea he can't work but not bein able to work , means that this su,mmer he can't complete his internship. which means he wont graduate on time.. So he is going through So much right now, and all i wanted to do is be there for him, and he is pushing me away.. One week ago last thurs, he broke up with me.. said that he needed to be alone. there is alot more in there but i have bored you enough ;) sorry! but now he is seeing this girl that used to comeover and buy weed from his roomate.. this bitch is 31.. he is 24.. age may not mean anything. but damn that makes me feel like shit.. and she is so skinny.. I wonder if that is why he left me.. my body? the fact that I think too much? Do I not talk enough? I don't know.. but he told my brother he wanted to be friends ... WHAT THE FUCK.. HOW DO YOU REALLY THINk THAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL WALKING IN HIS HOUSE,.. WITH THAT BITCH THAT HAS SEEN US TOGETTHER FOR THE LAST YEAR.. I CAN'T DO IT.. BUT NOW I AM GOING INSANE.. I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HIM.. I WANT HIM TO SEE HOW BMUCH I LOVE HIM AND HOW MUCH I MISS HIM. NOT TO MENTION HOW MUCH HE HAS HURT ME.. BUT HE WILL NEVER KNOW.. AS LONG AS HE IS WITH THAT STUPID BOYFRIEND STEALING BITCH.... OHyeah 1 day after he broke up with me he was dating this bitch... AINT THAT SOME SHIT! BASTARD!
He had enough nerve to say and I quote "There are plenty of other women that would appreciate being with me!" I said motherfucker If i didn't appreciate you do you really thing i would have taken you back after all the hell you have put me through! DUMBASS MOTHERFUNKER!!!
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADIVCE..???
I AM GOING CRAZY HERE!
HELP HELP HELP!!!
LOVE YOU ALL
*MANDA*
P.S. SORRY IT WAS SO LONG AND BORING!
