Over 16,529,091 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
|
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned toher and said, "Do you want to talk? -- Flights go quicker if you strike upa conversation with your fellow passenger."The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger, "What would you want to talk about?"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or noHeaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly."OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you aquestion first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass.Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, buta horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinksabout it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discusswhy there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when youdon't know shit?"And then she went back to reading her book!
|
Women Think of Everything!!
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. ---To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?'
The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.'
And you know men won't ask for directions...
Blondes Explaining Easter
Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they
could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.
The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give
thanks and eat turkey!"
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and wouldn't let her in.
The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus's birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he wouldn't let her in either.
The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me."
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus
was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans
arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died. Then they buried him
in a tomb behind a very large boulder ... "
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."
Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out.
If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."
St. Peter fainted.
