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Shelly's blog: "Jokes"

created on 07/18/2007  |  http://fubar.com/jokes/b104241

Blondes

A Blonde's Year in Review! January Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels ...Helllloooo!! ...bottles won't fit in printer !!! March Got really excited ...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months ...box said "2-4 years!" April Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!! May Tried to make Kool Aid ...wrong instructions ...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June Tried to go water skiing but couldn't find a lake with a slope. July Lost breast stroke swimming competition ... learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August Got locked out of my car in rain storm ... car swamped because soft top was open. September The capital of California is "C" ...isn't it??? October Hate M&M's ...they are so hard to peel. November Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! December Couldn't call 911 ... "duh" there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!! EXPOSURE A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." He says. She looks down and says, "OH SHUCKS, I left the baby on the bus again!" THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again & went to the mailbox opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
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