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If only I were free.

I'd sleep until the sun forced me out of bed and I'd stay up to hear the velvet rustle of white moonlit trees and howl until I felt alive. I'd eat chocolate and all things sweet whenever I wanted. I'd eat with my fingers and lick them clean. I'd strip myself bare, lie on the sand, spread my arms and my legs and try to swallow the sun. I'd wear long flowing dresses and let my hair grow wild and never worry about make-up or shaving anything. I'd twirl until I was dizzy, swim until I was tired, sing until I was hoarse, and dance naked around a full moon fire. I'd lie on the grass and look at cloud dragons and pick lavender and gather sea shells. I'd save treasures like a magpie: acorns, pods, strange looking driftwood, shiny baubles, a tender collection of moments. I'd take long afternoon naps in the shade, and then wade in cool streams with my skirts tied up at my waist. I'd eat peaches ripe from the trees, and pick blueberries and raspberries and eat them by the handfuls until my mouth was stained magenta. I would feed my appetites, honor abundance, and feel sated. I would laugh out loud and scream when I wanted to, and squeal like a girl when I was excited. I would tame wild animals and feed them from my hand. I would stand naked under waterfalls and drink in my fill. I would bury my feet and draw spirals in the sand. I would make up silly songs and sing them out loud and put daisies in my hair and dance in fields where wheat grew, golden sway as tall as me. I would plant a garden and tend it. I would let it all go, every hurt, every disappointment, every failure, every fear. I would toss them into fire and watch them burn to ashes and dance with forgiveness and love over them. I would open everything: doors, gates, boxes, lockets, windows, wide open and flowing, letting everything in and everything out. I would take long walks just to see where a path led and I would let my heart bleed or sing in every moment without fear or judgment. I would be kind to myself, and loving, and tuck myself in, and congratulate myself, and hold myself with tenderness and I would be joyful. I would pray every day, every movement, thought, or task made an offering, a gift to the divine. I would relax and surrender and let myself be in the moment every moment for all time. KinkyScreams © 2002
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