I've at best had an erratic presence here at CT. Along with work I've recently opened myself to an old yet new experience. This Blog goes out to her as well. I met someone, here no less, that has turned out to be an incredible person in many different ways. The most important of them being, she gave me a deep sense of self worth. Unfortunately however timing and social conventions prevent her from following her heart. Normally I don't care enough about other people to really concern myself with such thoughts, at least not beyond the surface issues involved. Well this woman, that has the key to my heart, has brought me to a new juncture. I have to let her know here, and hence the rest of the world, because I've cut off all other forms of my communicating with her. For all the light she's brought into my life, knowing that she will not be a part of it has sent me in the opposite direction now. Where once I felt like a super nova, now I feel like a black hole. Because I know my dark nature well I've shut her out, unfortunately it is also my nature to shut out the rest of the world also. I realize that many of you will be here for me, but I've never been one to cry on another's shoulder. Normally I go on the rampage, like a dragon out of myth, but she deserves a better legacy than that. Since I can't control the darkness, I'll just keep it to myself. That being said although I'll check in from time to time, I doubt that I'll have an active presense here for a while. When I do return I hope to be far more sociable, in the meantime please forgive my lapse in grace. Perhaps I'll find the strength of character to post more Blogs in the meantime. Take care all
