XaviRoseMaiden's blog: "Early Morning Writing"

Age ain't nothing but a number .. maturity is where its at ... don't talk to me is your all into ism's . ..sexism , racism , fascism .. etc ... i'm not going to try and change your mind or convert you it's not my job .. but be aware that changing my beliefs is not your job either .. 

Don't try to label , there's so many parts you can't see .. i'm a invidual ... 

don't judge me by my age... 

Don't judge me by my looks.. 

don't judge me by my beleifs ... 

Hell don't judge me at all .. 

who gave you the job ? 

it sure wasn't me .. 

Noone deserves the right to judge others so harshly... 

Noones the right to make some feel so excluded ... 

Judging someone by their age.. its not something some one can change ... 

Judging isn't loving or caring ... 

Sometimes i just feel like its time to go ... 

Where is the Love .. where is care ... when is the friendship in that ? 

Oi 

I just love going to church on sunday , it fills me with joy to sing and fellowship with the loving kind people there. Today we felt a loss with our father being there , his warm smiles and kind blessings were missed. But they are going through alot with his wife mother getting ready to pas to the other side , and on top of that thier family dog dying as well. the one they would of sought comfort from in these rough times. Everytime i think about being too sad andf staying i find myself thinking of someone who has it even worse then me. 

I hate Cancer , we are praying for members whose lives been touched by cancer ...

  For me   it  hurts ... it killed my Uncle , and his brother, it killed my Grandmother on my Mum's side. It kills without rhym or reason. it doesn't care how much you love them when it rips them from your life. I see so much pain and suffering. It breaks my heart to see people suffer so much... 

Aging isn't as easy as it looks... I see the suffering up close. I see the hidden pain. I the fight for pride , to maintain ones independance as long as they can.  I don't even want to think about losing any more members.... I love them all so much their some of the kindest people i've ever met. 

Let the aging have thier digity as long as they can , treat them how you want to be treated with kindess and compassion as much as you can. If you end up caring for a member that is losing their memory please get support , don't do it alone its a heart breaking process...

Be grateful for your health it is truly pricess... when we young we seem to have no idea how much of a gift it is ... one morning you could wake and it could all change... it was only a week ... that my Mum was sick ,and then suddenly she was gone ... gone forever... in body .. not in spirit .. not in legacy .. not in my memories..  Treasure those that love you .. make peace where you can .. Life is just too short ... 

I woke up this morning.. to see a new picture from my little girl . It made me cry cause i miss so much so much .. but i also saw her like my status about college. Sometimes i think that if it wasn't for her ... i never would of tried some of the things i do. She is my why .. Why i have to be the best i can be .. to create a better life for her and me. I miss her so much ... but i put it away to get done the things i need to do ... 

But when i see her picture ... i just cry .. cause i miss her  so much ... 

she is so beautiful , and caring and sweet ... looking into her eyes melts my heart every time ...

its so strange being on the other side .. the parent that really doesnt get to make so many choices ... 

but i will not give up.. i will see her , and when i do .. there will be no doubt how much i miss her and love her.. 

i feel that sometimes when we break up the child suffers .. the loss of one parent .. becuase of hurt and pain ...

sometimes reasons that need to be for the childs safetey .. but at other times just out of spite children are kept away... 

This breaks everyones heart... 

And it's not fair on the child!

Think of them first... 

Country life..

I love it here in this state..

the people are friendly ..

the good is great..

the culture is so diverse mate..

I love the sunshine it brightens even my darkest of days..

I love to watch the butterflies take flight..

I love to watch the lizards lay in the sun

and watch them scurry away real quick as I approach..

thier too fast for me but one day I'll catch one..

I love to see all the neighborhood kids ride thier bikes up and down the street ..

it reminds me of how I did when was young..

I love its simplicity..

the heart of the family is the home..

its somewhere you belong..

I love the slower place of the country

where you get time to watch  the world go by..

there's time to look up in the vast sky and think about life..

And be grateful for everything you have and even being alive..

I love it here.. it makes me smile..

for now it is my home..

New adventures ..

The Neighbourhood kids were playing with this turtle..

they caught him and put him in the cage..

he didn't like it much

his eyes were full of rage..

I watched him trying to get out..

trying to bite through the bars...

to freedom.. 

my friend told the kids to let him go..

they open the cage door..

and he ran so freaking fast..

he headed out towards the road..

I swear I thought he'd bit someone

this turtle was fuming..

he was so determined not to lose the freedom that he had..

Sometimes we need to be like that turtle..

Dear Dad..

I want you know.. how much I love you.. despite all our differences.. your a huge part of me.. we might always agree.. and argue back and forth.. but I love you so much.. and I'm glad your here.. in my life.. in my Skype..in my heart and in my memories... and its on days like this I wish I could go home.. and be there for you in person.. support you the way you support me.. enjoy your 60th birthday as it comes.. although it scares me...  I love you Dad xoxoxoxoxo

Love always your darling daughter..

I spoke to my Dad last night... it my was youngest sisters 13th birthday... time flies... My Dad turns 60 in a few days.. I wish I could be there... I love my Aussie family so much.. I'm just trying to do the right thing for my daughter...

but sometimes I wish I could move back home.. and not have to wait for Skype or my phone to ring...

its only been a couple of years since I last went back ...but sometimes it feels like forever...

Then my tears roll down my face... and my  heart aches ... but I go to face another day.. and try to make the most of it...

My Dad 

My Dad the artist , 

the painter , the writer, the encourager ,, 

MY dad the lover of people .. 

My Dad the one who reaches out the most .. 

 My Dad is ths one , want wants me to come home most .. 

 and sometimes i wish i could .. 

I miss you Dad , 

i miss exploring you , 

i miss hanging out with all your creative friends .. 

i miss the way you make me laugh ... 

And im scared that i wont get enough time with you ,

thats what scares me most .. 

when you get old or before u get too old  i wanna be there .. looking after you .. and Mama.. 

I want you guys to know how much i love you ... not only in words .. 

Mama i miss you too ... 

i miss your smiles , your loving heart your amazing hugs .. 

your words of wisedom ... 

I love you so much .. 

It was joy to see you happy ..

it was a joy to see you do the things u love ... 

I miss you Evie .. 

my youngest sister .. 

I want time to get to know you .. 

I want  you to know ill always be there if u need to talk .. 

I miss you Aaron 

your a man now .. 

I love you .. 

 
I  miss you Mira ..

not a day goes by when i dont think of you ...

 im so proud of you ... 

I  wish i could be there ... 

I miss you Robin 

i miss your quiet manner ,

 your cleverness .. but im glad your happy ... 

And thats only one family .. i miss so many more ... 

Part of me still feels likes there back home in Orange...

Part of me feels like i left part of my heart back in the sydney ... 

But my heart growing bigger and bigger ... 

caring more and more .. 

We are like trees , we grow our branches towards the sky , but these branches do not grow without , pain and loss .. these branches do not grow without nuturing ,, 

We need the love and sunlight .. 

we need the pain and loss .. 

we need room to grow ourselves 

we need room to grow each other 

Just as in life we need trees to survive .. 

As tress we need branches to survive .. 

Never hate enough to cut off someones branches , it may take years for them to grow back .. 

Love where there is hate ... 

Hate the injustice not the person.. 

We write in what we want in our own lifes.. 

Dont give up this ability to be author to become a bystander ...