after not seeing or talking to my son for several years i was just notified by my local police department (with the help from las vegas detectives) that my son has been found deciest,,not that he was lost in a physical since,,but he did find himself trapped in a world of drugs and trouble--moved to vegas to change scenery and get into treatment !! 9 months sober and clean,changing his life and doing it himself for himself !! now i find myself numb,,confused and maby a little lost..i wish he knew what he ment to me and how i was feeling all those years..a plan was in place,,the ball was in motion,,next year would bring a once severed family back togeather (december never came soon enough) i know i cant change the past,,i know i shouldnt beat myself up ---- i just wish he knew how hard i once upon a time i tried !!! god damnit how we (as a family) tried..i know im rambling (ive never blogged before) i just felt that msby,,just maby writing this out might help just a little....i love you nicholas,,always have my son and always will...NICHOLAS CHRISTOPHER ALBIN 3991-92612