The 5 rules of life:
1. Money can't buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the fucker's name.
3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
4. When in doubt, keep shooting until the magazine is empty.
5. Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but nor does drinking milk.