The laws of reality
1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never
get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.
10. Law of Bio Mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.
11. Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the
aisle arrive last.
12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will
have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of the Carpet: The chances of an open-faced buttered or jelly sandwich
landing face down on a carpet are directly correlated to the newness and cost of it.
15.. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
16 Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they
will stop making it.
