To be able to breathe out
ones unhappiness
to breathe out deeply
so that one can
breathe in again
And perhaps being able to speak out
ones unhappiness
in words
in real words
which are connected together [coherent]
and make sense
and which oneself
still can understand
and which perhaps even
somebody else understands
or could understand
And to be able to cry
This again
nearly would be
happiness
“Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love.”