I Just Want To Be Beautiful's blog: "u don't love me"

Thought of u and me o the good days, I try to drive u out of my head Not knowing what we could have been, I’ll think of u Some day With the moon shinny bright I'll think of u, Ever since u left I haven’t been myself, Dreaming of the day u will come back I can’t say no to the drug, I can’t hold on to my life, Pleas give me back my heart, I wish I could believe, I wish this could be a dream I run away from the pain, Don’t say u love me its not true I give up on love, I give up I’ll brake down , With a cut I bleed With a tear I’ll fall , With one last breath I’ll say I love u

I used to know a girl that was me Who was scared, But was not weak But she hid herself Deep inside Ashamed of something Of who knows what? I guess we all have something to hide' She only wanted him to think she was beautiful She was beautiful. She caught his eye He held her hand So fragile' She inevitably made a mistake And gave him her heart So he would tell her she was beautiful She was beautiful. I don't think she ever believed him When he told her that he loved her And I doubt it really mattered to her anyway' Its an indescribable feeling When someone even pretends to want you She just wanted to hear she was beautiful She was beautiful. She knew it wasn't suppose to happen like it did Her loss of innocence merely a compromise So she could stop hearing herself say 'no' And she could start hearing that she was beautiful. She didn't feel beautiful. She laid alone there on her bedroom floor Trying to make herself believe He'd be back She knew he would never be back' And there grew this overwhelming need For her to hear what it was She was always longing to hear' But no one would tell her she was beautiful' Was she still beautiful? She hid deep inside again Self-destroying And self reviving Until she was everything She thought was perfect Or perfect enough for her at least She got what she wanted One by one they told her she was beautiful Though she knew, they, like her, never thought she was beautiful. And after each one She would lie alone It was no use trying to make believe anymore They wouldn't call back' And her desire to hear she was beautiful Was no longer fulfilling Because her emptiness grew each time it was said She knew she wasn't beautiful She wasn't beautiful.

He holds my trust in one hand My cherry with demand Oh. I need him to fill me up I scream his name like no other Right now I find my lip on your dick asking.. How do I suck ur dick The pain of his cock stabbing my throat You dug you dick in my cunt Tearing what no other has tired before He give me the dick I need With out the love I give I’m the cunt that bleeds He sticks it in me well I try to run he turns my face in side out Bleeding on the floor I find myself his bitch Stabbing myself with his knife he left me I’m the cunt that bleeds

Thought of u and me ooh the good days I try to drive u out of my head Not knowing what we could have been I’ll think of u Some day With the moon shinny bright I think of u Ever since u left I haven’t been myself Dreaming of the day u will come back I can’t say no to the drug I can’t hold on to my life Pleas give me back my heart to move along I wish I could believe I wish this could be a dream I run away from the pain Don’t say u love me its not true I’ll give up on love I’ll give up I’ll brake down With a cut I bleed With a tear I’ll fall With a last breath I’ll say I love u something i did for my x bf t

I always say that I am out of time. It seems that time goes too fast. No matter what I do. It never helps me inside. Because I am out of time. I tried to make things right. But I was out of time. I wonder if my life will be out of time. I wish I could go back and change the hands of time. My heart will always be filled with hurt and sorrow. It will be the hurt and sorrow of losing a dear love one No matter how many times I try to forget you. It is just impossible to forget the man who cared. It is sad for me to think that way. But it is just how I feel inside. I sometimes think why was your life out of time? Should things have been like they were? Maybe I could have changed the way we treated each other. Now I am out of time to fix it. No matter how many tears I shed for the loss I feel. I should have known better. But I didn't. So we ended it with my feeling sorrow and broken hearted, and having ongoing tears. Everyday that passes; I sit here and wish you were here to share all the good things with me. Sadly to say we were out of time. Miss you Tony! to bad you where out of time.. when I was 4.… I miss you; the good times you where here I’ll wear a little red for you every day to the end

Dear: love one If I'm dead and in the grave, will you still love me? If I look up, will I see the flowers you left above me? When the worms begin to feed again, it feels like when you loved me. When decay becomes my closet friend, will you be thinking of me? I feel so alone since those days are gone when I walked in the sun. I gave up my chance, in the darkness I chant while holding my gun. If I knock on your door tonight, will I be welcomed in? Would you be willing to forgive me of my mortal sin? I finally escaped the whispers and lies in a life where I didn't fit. I brought about my own demise and ended here in this pit. When the moon is full, I can feel its pull and think of the things I missed. Regret is making it hard to think, it's a shame it has come to this. I just can't seem to make up my mind but I guess that I've got plenty of time. In this cold dark place of mine, In this coffin, imprisoned inside, still contemplating my suicide. When the worms move, I will think of you, do you still love me

Put the cold wet blade to my wrist again wet from the blood already lost deeper the cuts go trying to feel the pain I’m so lost I’m numb to the world I wake up each day wish that this will be my last I go to bed each night hoping not to wake empty the bottle down my throat again Maybe finally this will be the end of it all The end of my pain The end of my tears Now you wont be able to hurt me again No more yelling Now only quiet Turn up the Music Close my eye Rest my weak head on the pillow Just sleep Oh no awake again Just sick from the night before Why cant it end I cry to myself This is an EVERY day thing So press the blade again a little deeper and do it all over again The next day until my last

all my pain all my depression all my aggression into me my legs, my wrists, my arms oh god why me just kill me oh god I’m asking you why me… why my unbend hearts JUST FUCKING TAKE AWAY MY LIFE OF MISERY what person deserves to live like this im not a person im worthless shit All I ask is for some one to love me is that to much to ask im crying on the inside I CANNOT EVEN PRETEND ANYMORE! I CANT FUCKIN FAKE A SMILE! I CANT FUCKING FAKE IM OK! people lie to me guys cheat on me… IM SORRY I DONT NOW WHAT I DID BUT I APOLOGIZE! for everything ive done everything I haven’t done everything I have yet to do. who can I talk to if I have no one? not even a FUCKEN PARENT… to say that “I’ll be okay”… or to give me a hug when I what to cry. A simple hello which would simply make my day. Just to hear someone say ‘I care, ill be there maybe’ just maybe… some where out here there someone who loves me? It seems like I cannot do any thing Wright, the only thing that I only now is to hurt myself. I only now to cut and carve what I feel or think. all I ever dream of was havening some one that cared for me is That too much to ask? How can I live in the world of hate and cheating and lies and broken promise and unbend hearts

I have to block out every thing about you! Hate me for all the things I did... yeah there was some thing here but what the fuck who cares it old shit get a life and leave my shit alone... some things are never know so let them go it better you don't know! are you watching this don't stop and i can't lie it not really your fault so you give up every thing.. all i say is h8 me.. i can't believe you can't see what in your face are you blind I'm not the only one i see this happed to weak bitchess... what if i waned to laugh it all off in your face what would you do! what if i wanted to fight i would bring it.. i say i want it.. i bet you.. do it.. i 'm not running a way brake me h8 me this is who I'm really am in side la-la- la your killing me beat me do what you like... go a head kiss the face of a lie it time to forget the past and see what happens next it just a game get in before you get kicked out every one is looking at me what a great thing... there'll be a day I'll call and he would be grateful to hear me... to talk to me lol hope you know now that your here all i want to say is.. get the fuck out you said this was a lie ooh no no your a lie how can you be so blind see his phone I'll show you mine ooh i can't that would just be a waste of time.... a way from you when you can be fuckeing.. ahah does your dad know that!! ooops!! what if i told you it was all meant to be by god maybe your not right together eh!! i can think of a way why it still goes strong sorry don't cut cause of this ooops! let me tell you this a kids ways get old! he's tired of it!!! i point this out cause he did to me I'm not scared of you all you can do is h8 me wow! go and lesson to your Amy lee! and cut.. cut .. cut if i care maybe that why he there oh I'm to late.. lost the game how can that be... stop your fucken crying it over... how can i burn or how can you be burned so don't cry if he loved you he'll be there i never be the one you called lucky i guess it must be all this love he giving.... who would of know there is something wrong with you don't hurry and get all bitchy on me... i forgot you have every thing but who care deal with it where facing a long time there nothing i can do to make him lose the load so you cry and pray say he need u so cry i can care less so she cry love me ooh love me don't fool me... standing at the back door there death lets face it, it come to an end kill your pain any way you like it.. time to be a women not a lil bitch not a stranger no eye in yours when he's eyes meet mine i know i can see.. i do not want to be afraid i might be cut but not of him or the game just look at me in the eyes breath in don't be sad your not alone aaahhhhh I AM NOT ALONE!!!!!!! remember when you where cut!!! i can see there something in your eyes but i toke a fall maybe i should just come clean but i don't want to lose my head to day la-la-la he called me when he was missing me ooh yeah me! tell me where the time went go and sleep if i care.. its getting closer something are never know but i know what you don't i can feel the pain ooh show me the blood something's are never know until your dead but for now let them go i tell myself breath.. are you hearing me.. I'll talk about it when your died.. so go and h8 me today kill me! so I give up i bet do you know what love is i guess again to the end of the great view... no one cares to talk about... I seen you die your way better off like that.. just think about it... I'll be here laughing it up on your face..