It's hard to frame my thoughts.
On Wednesday at 5:23am here in Vegas, my world was shattered. My nephew Devon passed away after a massive infection (Septic Shock) ravaged his body. He was 11 years old.
This hits me so hard because this kid was special to me. *I* chose his name, and we were best friends from the time he could talk. While a special needs child, he was so smart - You should have seen his ability to take a few objects from around the house and make these incredible contraptions. Seriously, an architect would have been proud of these structures.
While I love my other nephew and my niece dearly, Devon was (For lack of a better term) my favorite. It was his strength from the time he was born that impressed me the most about him. I'm not talking physical strength - Even though he WAS our little "Ox" - But the strength of his character. He had a force of character and will to always succeed that made him unique.
You see, he was born VERY prematurely. So much so that the doctors then told us not to expect him to make it. But, his will even then was such that he fought for every breath, and raised his tiny little voice in a cry that said "I am here to stay".
I guess I should look at this positively - I mean, he wasn't supposed to make it, but got 11 years of life. That's damned good for a kid that shouldn't have made it.
But I just can't. All I can see is that this wonderful 11 year old was made to suffer this type of thing TWICE in his short life, beginning and end. And despite the strength he had, he just couldn't win both fights.
I'm bitter because he was taken so young. I'm bitter because he loved The Hulk - And wanted to see the new movie with me, but didn't get to. I'm bitter because I'll no longer hear his voice or see his smile.
I'm most bitter that my desperate pleas to "God" to take me instead of him were ignored. I've had a great life, and would willingly have laid it down for this child to have had even just one more day. It's not fair - Parents (And Uncles) shouldn't out live their kids.
If you're reading this, I want you to think every now and then about the child who could build great contraptions. The child who loved Mexican Food and Pizza. The child who loved super heroes and pro wrestling, even though he sometimes blurred which was real and which wasn't.
The child who should still be here.
RIP Devon. I hope wherever you are that you know we all love you very much.
