A Poem by an Old Timer
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note.
A window was something you hated to clean....
And ram was the cousin of a goat.....
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
Memory was something that you lost with age,
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 " floppy
You hoped nobody found out
Compress was something you did to the garbage,
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu
I guess I'll stick to my pen and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they'll wish they were dead!
Life Before the Computer
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy ..
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!!
Computers Compared To Humans
*What is a computer's first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.
*What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.
*What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer key-board?
The space bar.
*What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.
*Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.
*What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.
*To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.
*Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
*Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
*My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.
*The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.