Awaiting to hear your voice,
I sit in the darkness of the world
Hoping for your return.
I live in the moments that we shared,
But the world is dying around me.
I can only hear the terror the overwhelms
With absolute darkness and silence.
Soul tearing and heartbreaking in the midst of what was complete happiness.
It would have been blissful ignorance,
As I miss you more for having gotten but a moment of your life.
I damn the day that my heart called to you
And I seen that smile.
Now, in this moment, without you,
I see only the darkness of this world--
The world without you in it.
Painful yearning to hold you,
And the ruthless nagging knowledge
That I may never have that chance.
Sea flavored tears rushing endlessly,
As I wait day after day.
Deep, hollowing heartbeats, as I try to see past this chaos,
And it was my own damned heart that created it.
If for only a moment, I had listened with the knowledge of man
Who has reached my age through the trials,
Instead, no, I gave with the childlike belief
That if it's true and good,
It would be returned.
Now, I sit in my heartfelt misery,
With the knowledge that Heaven is a place.
Not where I reside, but where happiness is constant,
And the smile is a beckoning call.
The smile of an angel-
It makes the rest of the world not matter,
And I have that knowledge,
And the smile, I want it to be because of me,
But alas, I have nothing to offer you,
I have only my heart, which was yours before
I even had knowledge of the true beauty.
If my own heart had not been broken and scarred,
Perhaps I would know which direction to turn.
I followed it to you,
And now I wait to see where it is that you truly stand,
And until then, I sit here,
Watching the approaching darkness,
And missing the angel that once lit my path,
That smiled when I spoke,
The one who stood breathless at my words.
In my own predestined hell,
I have come to rest for eternity.
Robert J Nye (2007)
