This is written by someone who was abused...
I am sadly normal
1 out of every 3 women and 1 out of every 5 men have been sexually
abused by someone they trust by the time they are 18 years old.
I am sadly normal
We feel unimportant, discounted, worthless, shameful, powerless,
unlovable.
I am sadly normal
We are forced to hide within ourselves by our abusers.
I am sadly normal
We are forced to keep our dirty little secrets.
It's easy to do because we believe it was our fault.
I am sadly normal
We learn not to trust anyone, including ourselves, and the adults who
were supposed to keep us protected.
I am sadly normal
We learn to survive by lying, pretending, manipulating, and stealing.
I am sadly normal
We learn to cope however we can. Drugs, alcohol and food are used to
numb us and provide the comfort we have missed out on.
I am sadly normal
We learn to find our way around it, while we struggle to find ourselves.
I am sadly normal
We think and learn and are told it doesn't matter.
We believe we don't matter either.
I am sadly normal
We think there are no effects of the abuse, while we can't figure out
why we are the way we are, and why we do the things we do.
I am sadly normal
We become experts at fooling others, and ourselves.
I am sadly normal
We become exhausted from hiding the truth, thinking we are responsible
for protecting those around us.
Some even protect the abuser.
I am sadly normal
We reach adulthood, and deal with it for as long as we can, until we can't
deal with it any longer.
I am sadly normal
We lose concentration and focus. We become more anxious and nervous.
We feel like we are going insane.
I am sadly normal
Emotions fill us. Craziness, sadness, anger, rage, irritation, frustration.
Loneliness.
I am sadly normal
SOMETIMES, we find a way to break our silence. We get help, and we learn
to live, not just survive.
Some never get to that point.
Some just live with it.
Some die with it.
Some take their own lives because of it.
I am sadly normal
SOMETIMES, we seek counseling, and the healing is finally allowed to
begin. Many don't discover the help that is available until we are in our
30's or 40's.
Some never discover it.
Does this sound like you?
You are sadly normal too.
- Lisa Ritter
July, 2005