Ya know, I don't normally do this but its eatting me away inside. This damn nightmare won't stop and the worst part about it, IT feels like I'm living it when I'm awake. I don't want to be that exiled person standing on a pill of corspes. I want to be with the others.
Why, Why can't I find someone whom makes me feel like living. Why is it whenever I like someone it seems to turn into hatred. It's like everyone knows, if I start to like you, push me away. I know its not that but damn its getting old.
Shit like right now, I'm so messed up and torn and only two people have truely been inside my head during it all. ONE I admitted to likeing tonight but PFFT like that really means any damn thing. I mean it's me we're talking about. The other just wouldn't work out, I'm sure of it. We're just nothing in common and I don't like her like that.
I'm fighting a battle I feel has been over for years. Yet I still wait for the day. Will someone ever give a shit about me? Will somewhere ever see that I'm good along with evil. I don't like being an ass but damn it I've been hurt and used and when I try to show I care it gets thrown back at me.
Maybe the dream is right, maybe I don't belong here or anywheres.
