Once again there is a strip of black tape across the middle of my badge. While that probably doesn't mean anything to most of you, to me it means another life ended too soon. It means a family left stunned by grief. It means friends and co-workers trying to hold it together so inmates can't take advantage of our sorrow. My badge has had black tape across it all too often lately.
Last night the world lost a good man. A man who always had a smile for everyone, never had a cross word for anyone, including those society has thrown away. I have not met many people who can honestly say they practiced what they preach. He was one. He was a minister, husband, father, friend, and correctional officer. He was good at all these things. I watched as this man's words brought tears to the eyes of hardened criminals. Drug addicts, rapsists, murderers...all of them moved by what he had to say. I watched as this man lifted his voice in song, and brought tears to the eyes of hardened correctional officers. Stoic people who spend most of our time trying to hide our feelings. Even I was not immune.
Today I listened as people said "It was his time", "the Lord called him home", "God has his own plans", and "God knows what he's doing". Prison is a religious place. If you didn't have it when you arrived, you certainly have it by the time you leave. That goes for staff and inmates. Both groups of people spend a lot of time trying to make sense of the world around them. Today was no different.
I wonder about "God's plan" in this. It wasn't violence or illness that took a life today. It was chance, timing,who knows. What I do know is that when I go to work tomorrow, that smiling face won't be waiting. I know there is once less bright spot in a perpetually dark place. I certainly hope God knew what he was doing.
Rest in Peace my friend, you are sorely missed and forever loved.
