So I realize that over the years I have been through alot of shit. Over half of it I put myself through. For the past two years I have been wanting to go into the military. I have failed the asvab twice. I am studying my ass off this time around so that I can pass and get in. Im so tired of depending on people and hearing people (basically family) whine about it. But I have noticed that almost all my family, on both sides, dont talk to me unless I call them. I dont hear from my mom unless I call her most of the time. And it hurts because most of the time she wont talk to me because her husband is around. That man has caused me so much pain that its hard to move on. I wont fully move on until he is in his grave. Which knowing my luck he will live over 100. The only time I hear from my dad is when I call him. I understand he has a busy schedule, I know how is life is. But would it hurt to call me just for five minutes just to say hello? When we first started talking he would call me almost every night. I just dont understand my family. So I realized this morning laying in bed that im the black sheep of the family. I cant do anything right and honestly im starting to push myself away from my family. Holidays are hard for me because of the family. Sorry guys I know this is a long one but I needed to write. Its not like you guys comment anyways so......
