Mizz CaramelRedd's blog: "Black Folks in Heaven"

I, the Penis, request a pay raise due to the following reasons. 1)I do physical labor. 2)I work at great depths. 3)I plunge head first into everything I do. 4)I work weekends and holidays. 5)I work in dark areas with poor ventilation. 6)I work in high temperatures. 8)My work exposes me to disease. Dear Mr. Penis, your request has been denied due too the following observations. 1)You dont work a full 8-hour shift. 2)You fall asleep after each brief work period. 3)You do not remain in your designated work area and are often found in other locations. 4)You do not take initiative and have to be stimulated to begin your work. 5)You leave your work area messy at the end of each shift. 6)You are unable to work overtime or double shifts. 7)You sometimes leave your designated area before completing the assigned task. 8)You have constantly been seen leaving the work area with two suspicious bags. We apologize..Sincerely, Management

Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to u, I have black folks up here in Heaven who are causing some problems. They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, ham hock, sparerib and pig feet bones all over the streets of gold. Some folk are walking around with one wing. They have been late taking their turn in keeing the stairway to Heaven clean. There re watermelon seeds all over the clouds. Some of them aren't even wearing their halos, saying its messing up their hair..." The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did u, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If u really want to know about problems, lets call the Devil. The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Dang! Hold on...." The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can i do for u?" The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems u are having down there." The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and put the Lord on hold again, then said, "Okay im back. What was the question?" The Lord asked again, "What kind of problems are u having down there?" The Devil replied, "Man! I dont belie....hold on Lord." This time the Devil was gone for almost 15 minutes. Finally he returned and said, "Im orry Lord, I cant talk right now. These Negroes done put the fire out and trying to install air conditioning!"