Ragdoll's blog: "good stuff"

 Dec 18, 2007 Red Flags and Dangerous Emotions..

 Maybe you just started a relationship..maybe you have been in one for awhile... But some things are getting your attention...I prefer to call them RED FLAGS.... Maybe it is you, or them..who knows..but the Green-Eyed Monsters of Jealousy and Insecurity are creeping up. You dont want your partner to go anywhere unless they are with you or vice versa...You are jealous of their TV or internet time because you arent sitting right their with your nose up their butt to monitor what is or isnt being written.... You criticize their lack of ettiquette on phone return calls or missed calls... Everything you or they do is subject to scrutiny...under the microscope so to speak looking for something...anything to validate what you or they might be feeling.... HEY! What the Sam Hill Houston Are YOU Doing? Those are VERY Destructive actions to have emotionally! What gives you ..or (anyone).. the right to play the role of Hall Monitor in anyones life but your own? To do so says you do not believe or trust in the person YOU have chosen to be in your life...It also speaks to a need on your part to have others make you feel secure in your self. How unfair, what a burden to place on your loved ones shoulders. People like this will never be happy...they take and take from you little by little until you have given them everything including your identity..just to make them feel secure about themselves....There is no such thing as individuality or privacy with an insecure person...it will take everything you have to appease them emotionally.You will spend endless volumes of time and energy wondering what else will you have to argue about and compromise away so they are happy. We all want to make our significant others happy...but AT WHAT PRICE ? Its Draining to a relationship and not healthy....For either person...! When every action or non action leaves you feeling like you are a child subject to a smack on the hand....When every decision you make has to be run by another person for approval/disapproval...Are you an adult? There is alot to be shared in a mutual loving relationship...dont get me wrong..There are issues where it is encouraged to discuss openly with your partner life changing decisions and finances for the household, plans for this or that.... Im speaking more to the heart of Double Standards, control issues, domineering behavior, Insecurity and Jealousy, not giving your partner the right to be an individual, make his/her own choices without your manipulations, and Privacy. Red Flags....Danger...Caution! Love is not love if it takes away who you ARE...and replaces it with the Person THEY NEED you to be in order for THEM to be happy and secure...Its all selfishness. Its a Death Sentence.. death to self if not handled appropriatly and soon. Just somethings I needed to get off my chest and out there today! Keep Living, Laughing and Above all Loving Healthy! ~Ragdoll~