I wonder if he really thinks
I am capable
Of hurting him, if have it hiding
Inside of
Who I am and what I know,
I ask myself if
I’m willing to take that chance
Of watching
His heart close enough to forget about my own
He says he can’t grow close to
A person
As I kiss the edge of his shoulders,
He walks around the room with-
Out making eye contact
Telling me a piece of his past
I am able to hear the ache in
His tone, like
Trying to touch the forgotten moments. But there
Is more sadness, he fears he
Will end up the one crying
On the telephone on some
Ordinary Tuesday night when
I arrive home from
School, and say Good-Bye
Between my other phone calls
I tell him I understand
Though, I cannot see how this
Twenty-three year old boy
Fears me, fears I may end
Up one of his
Biggest heart breaks. He sits
Against his window, finally
Looking at me, and asks what I want
The windows rattle with my
Own realization of expecting
Too, too much
You should smile more often
I say, patting the bed for him
To come close, I shrug off his
Question, not knowing for sure
But after he kisses my collarbone
I know I’ve missed this
Intimacy for so long. Yet i
Can’t help but wonder if I am
Only filling his hollowed
Space for the day, he pulls me
Close, drawing circles on my
Back with his fingertips
Right then I knew if I spent
Another afternoon
In his bed with my socks
On the floor and my hair
Messy between his
Fingers, I’d never be able
To detach myself from him
