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Flanman's blog: "Better than"

created on 12/05/2007  |  http://fubar.com/better-than/b164241
Why Cats Are Better Than Men >^,,^< A cat always hits the litter box. >^,,^< You have a better chance of training a cat. >^,,^< You never have to spend time with your cat's mother. >^,,^< If you ask enough times, a cat may actually LISTEN to you. >^,,^< You can de-claw a cat...try to get a guy to clip his toe nails. >^,,^< It's okay if a cat rubs up against your best friend. >^,,^< A cat knows you're the key to his happiness...a man thinks HE is the key to your happiness.

Better than women

(Personally I don't think anything is better than a good woman except for maybe a bad one) ;) Top Ten Reasons why Christmas trees are better than women: 10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past 9. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices. 8. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet. 7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls. 6. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home. 5. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it. 4. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away. 3. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees. 2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day. And the #1 reason Christmas trees are better than women 1. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck. Reasons why a handgun is better than a woman: 1. You can buy a silencer for a handgun. 2. You can trade a .44 for two .22's. 3. You can have a handgun at home and another for the road 4. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed and let you try a few rounds with it. 5. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup. 6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo. 7. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space. 8. Handguns function normally every day of the month. 9. A handgun won't ask, "Do these grips make me look fat?" 10. A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you're done using it. 11. You can have more than one handgun living in the same house without having problems. 12. A handgun doesn't care how big your trigger finger is. 13. A handgun won't tell all of its friends if you are a "little fast on the trigger". Why airplanes are better than women: 1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time. 2. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of the switch. 3. Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go." 4. Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection. 5. Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation. 6. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations. 7. Airplanes don't come with in-laws. 8. Airplanes don't care about how many airplanes you've flown before. 9. Airplanes and pilot both arrive at the same time. 10. Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes. 11. Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines. 12. Airplanes expect to be tied down. 13. Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills. 14. However, they both have one thing in common...when either one of them gets quiet, it's definitely not good.
10 Reasons Why Hockey Is Better Than Sex 1. Its legal to play hockey professionally. 2. The puck is always hard. 3. Protective equipment is reusable and you don't even have to wash it. 4. It lasts a full hour. 5. You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds. 6. Your parents cheer when you score. 7. Periods only last 20 minutes. 8. You can count on it at least twice a week. 9. You can tell your friends about it afterwards. 10. A two-on-one or three-on-one is not uncommon.
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