Weeping
Yes, she was weeping....
She jerked with a surprise, she had been steering at the tree..
Too long.
Yet not even knowing she had really been..
Could this be a dream?
She was not paying attention to the reality of the moment.
She was visiting the past... As, she had all intentions of taking down the beautiful Christmas tree....
" Fine," she said, as she approached the cupboard to grab a bottle of Scotch.. Her hand trembling a bit as she poured..
It was an unfamiliar, feeling to come upon. She had not let go with emotions in so long. It scared her to the bone.
A chilling she, held so tight! Not to allow any emotions into her world.
Never show what can HARM you. Her only rule
had come back with a vengeance of double force, to be faced in the darkness of the sorrid flat she calls home. The one plain rule! She held true to protect her self from the hell, with in...
God what happened to her? "How can looking at a tree make me so sad? I was bawling like a small child. I had just thought about my past week."
The holiday, & how things have a way of changing , yet staying the same. She was not even looking at the tree.....
She threw the drink into the sink.. As hard as she could it bounced off the wall & shattered loudly!! Flushed, disgusted, she cleaned the mess up.. She was pissed for no reason at all, except for the fact, she had let her emotions escape into reality.
The holiday's had won, again once more.
She had stared in disbelief, as she looked in the mirror. She had not the tears of sadness but, of a dispassionate lost woman..
She had tried again...
Covering her face, with hands, she sank to the floor..
Impossible to know how long, her reaction had been building up..
She finally pulled her self together, put on make-up, & the smile in place...
Possibly she will take the tree down in a few more days...
(Page # 2)
After the Make up & smile in place.
She sat down and began to read the tragic, love, romance book...
She had been reading here & there to kill the long hours between evening and dawn. When you are to be sleeping. You're in the zone, of relaxation, or pure exhaustion.... Away from the world, the reality of life, so your body, can get over those little, scraps, we call our life.
Suddenly, she heard the screaming....
The NOISES from the hall. Was she imagining them? No! This was no imagination.This was a blood curdling,demand. Why?
Then all went quiet.
Torn between the thought, of was she sleeping or was she awake? Had she been sleeping? She had that sleepy haze to her. Real?
Then the BANG!
She was now aware this was NO dream. The stillness, the darkness of 1:15 am, torn between the fear of this & what she should do.
She got up. She began to pace, trembling, she heard the noise begin. She had the urge to call for help. But, then: who would they call in the long scheme of things?
Slowly, she picked back up her book.....
The call came about 45 Min's. Later... 16-B...... She heard it all. Dispatch said: "Police on the scene. "
She took a deep breath. "Yes I will meet you on the scene.."
She looked at Srgt. Mike. "Yes I will wait with you. Definite code 1..."
"Send the Ambulance back. We will wait."
Doctor Edwards: pronounced "D.O.A. Cause; gun shot to head. Self inflicted.
Young Adult woman looks to be about 35 yrs. Old, Caucasian, autopsy to be conducted."
Her stomach tightened. "I know it is just the way it is.. The holidays...."
She went outside, Dr.Edwards asked: sliding his hands into his pockets.
" Are you Okay Kid? You do not look so good?" She wanted just to cry...
She looked into his all knowing,eyes . He clasped her hands.She did not want to answer to him, that would only add fire to the prompt for more questions. Then she was bawling again.....
He held her like a Dad. Giving her the time she needed to get over the battles of the call. Gave her a Hug & was on his way.
She went back into the flat only to stare at that Christmas Tree once again......
This time the Scotch went down like a hot spark. Sleep came quick.
{to be continued..... lol!!!}
