Wikkid's blog: "Most Important Blogs"

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Being offended is a choice to be a victim. Have you ever thought about how silly it is to go around being offended?

There are people who turn on the radio and get offended because they hear someone speaking in a certain tone or saying a word they don’t like. Some people have a whole list of words that they are offended by, and anytime someone says one of them, they go off into a tantrum.

Albeit, it’s just like allowing someone else’s behavior decide how you are going to be emotionally. You can be the person whose emotions or strings are pulled by someone else, depending on how they choose to act or what words they choose to use.

You choose your own emotional responses, and you own them. You can blame others for how you choose to feel and pretend that you are a victim.

Or you can choose not to give anyone permission to take away your happiness, joy or good mood away from you.

You can give away your power and allow someone else’s behavior to pull your strings….

Or you can allow yourself the right to process their behavior for what it is: It’s THEIR behavior, not yours. Being offended and angry or embarrassed by someone’s behavior is a resistance to accepting the reality that they are responding and acting with who they are and how they choose to be.

When you accept people as they are and mirror back their reality to them, they will feel understood and then you can seek to be understood, because they will be open to a new perspective.

If you don’t like what someone is saying on the radio, turn the dial. If you don’t like the way someone chooses to dress, turn your eyes. Don’t feast your eyes on it.
If someone else wants to listen to rock music that you think is disgusting, then don’t listen to it. That is what free speech and the First Amendment of the Constitution are about. That’s what free expression is all about. That’s what it’s all about; there is no code that is going to fit everyone.

However, when you come from love you always know what to do and you have consideration, honor, honesty, security, trust, acceptance, integrity, understanding – all those things are love and you cannot be wrong with them. This also means having enough self-love and dignity, not to be burdened with someone else’s victimizing behavior and if need be, allowing them to act that way away from you.

Choosing to not be offended is to not be a victim.

People speak the way they speak.

You may not like violence in movies or the cursing in a TV show. Maybe you don’t like seeing people starve when we have more food than ever and have enough for everyone. Maybe you don’t like crime or abuse in some form or all forms.

Instead of resisting reality that these things exist and judging them as behavior that shouldn’t be done or is a sin, you accept it as a part of the world in its present state and understand that its behavior that proves to be unhealthy and you do your part to rid it of the world.

You can stop watching violent movies or a TV show that uses language you don’t like. You can a community service that feeds the hungry and homeless or you can give food to a food drive.

You can learn and teach a class on self-defense, whether it be verbal, psychological or physical defense against abuse.

We have to make a judgment of recognition of the pleasure and price of our choices, so that we can make choices that help propel us forward to our purpose and mission in life.

That judgment is accepting things and people as they are. That judgment is a righteous one to allow us to make a realistic choice. That judgment is acknowledging that the current state of humanity is only a result of the choices the masses has made as a whole in the past.

When you resist what someone or yourself has done in the past and you feel guilty ashamed sorry, angry, offended or upset about it – you are resisting the fact that you cannot change the past, instead of focusing on what you can do NOW to change your present or future circumstances in life.

You can accept your actions or behavior, or of others, in the past as it was and choose to learn to be a stronger person from it – or you can resist it and resist that you cannot change it and choose to remain stuck in your head in the past and living in a state of pain of denial, struggling with “It shouldn’t have been that way.”

Every choice we make is perfect, as we help setup situations to learn what it is we need to learn. You can never have “Shoulda, coulda, woulda” last Friday, today. You can’t do that. You can’t change what you did last Friday, but you can change what you do NEXT time.

This, in effect, is the same principle of being offended by the behavior of another person. You can resist the reality of how they choose to act and allow it to dictate how you choose to feel emotionally – or you can accept it as their behavior, without taking offense and understanding that it has nothing to do with you, but conveying, if need be, that their behavior does not affect you in any way you choose not to.

You can allow people to offend, intimidate, control, and manipulate you; or you can choose to not allow them that permission.

When you tell someone that their behavior dictates how you feel, you are training them to think they are omnipotent and more powerful than you are. You are training them to control you and your emotional responses and by giving away your power, you are training them to victimize and their will.

People treat you the way that you TRAIN them to treat you.