> THINGS I HAVE LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTHERN PART OF THE UNITED STATES
> OF AMERICA:
> 1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
>
> 2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the south.
>
> 3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the
> south, plus a couple no one's seen before.
>
> 4. If it grows, it sticks; If it crawls, it bites.
>
> 5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
>
> 6. It is not a Shopping cart, it is a buggy.
>
> 7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
> 8. People actually grow and eat okra.
>
> 9. "Fixinto" is one word.
>
> 10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then
> there is supper.
>
> 11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it
> when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
>
> 12. Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
>
> 13. The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
>
> 14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time
> it is.
>
> 15. You work until youre done or it's too dark to see.
>
> 16. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
>
> YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM THE SOUTH IF:
> 1. You measure distance in minutes.
> 2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
> 3. You use "fix" as a verb. For example: "I'm fixing to go to the store.
> 4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
> vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
> 5. You install security lights on your house and garage, then leave
> both unlocked.
> 6. You know what a "DAWG" is.
> 7. You carry jumper cables in your car ... For your OWN car.
> 8. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and
> ketchup.
> 9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page,
> but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
> 10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
> 11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm". 12. You know all
> four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
> 13. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin'
> Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World" >
> 14. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good Gumbo
> weather.
> 15. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop .. it's a Coke,
> regardless of brand or flavor. For
> example: "What kinda coke you want?" 16. Fried catfish is the other
> white meat.
> 17. We don't need no stinking driver's Ed. If our daddy says we can
> drive, we can drive.
>
> If you understand these jokes forward them to your friends from the
> South (and those who just wish they were).
