Icarus's blog: "Augurs, Martyrs, and Agnostics"

And that -is- a deliberate reference to Ben Folds.

Good evening.

Today was beautiful.
Above 60.

I've spent the last 70 hours working over "defeat" in my mind, and I've been spending a lot of time talking to my now unemployed best friend about
life
philosophy
politics
hope
fairness
revolution
economics

I dunno if I'm ready or willing to put those thoughts here.
Not because I'm afraid of your reaction to them, but more that I just don't feel like it at this exact moment.

We're all fine with that right?

... why did I start this?

I actually got up for a minute and forgot.

Right-
so I spent most of this week fretting about the job I didn't want
y'know...
where I drive to people's houses and wrangle crazies for $11.00/hr (at most) And I was mostly fretting about turning it down, "what if they're pissed that I didn't take it" "what if I get hurt" "what if I take it and quit 2 days after training is done"

I received notice today that I was not being considered for this position.

I was relieved horrified, and insulted all at the same time.

"Why the fuck not!?" ... because I said "I didn't apply for this job" or that I wasn't sure I felt safe at this job? that I wasn't sure I was interested in the position at all and that... I had a degree and 10 years ago that meant I could work at some place BETTER than McDonalds? or that I have a criminal history that is 98.999% not my fault? Lolz crusading DA's and ridiculous circumstances...

wait
who the fuck cares? This job is terrible. And I pity anyone in its position long term.


Meanwhile... back at the ranch.
Temp agencies have dick all.
Classifieds keep looping the same 20 jobs I'm not certified/licensed/qualified for
and I'm constantly dripping out money.

So ... that's the panic aspect.

Let's talk about games for a minute.

So, my besty talked me into splurging on Steam and getting a game for basically $3.40

I wasn't sure it'd run
I wasn't sure it'd be fun
I wasn't entirely sure how the coop worked

But it was $3.40

Rainbow Six Las Vegas 2.

*throws his hands up*

Its got a build-a-skater (Chris and I are both retards for customization. Seriously, it makes whatever game we're playing twice as appealing)

Tons of guns that can each mount one custom part of your choice

Heavy emphasis on teamplay

Drop in coop story mode (seriously STOP LEAVING THIS OUT!!!)

Coop shoot-free-kill mode

Heavy emphasis on "tac-shooting" (where you get hit in the head and die- no health packs, no sprint shoes no crazy shit- plan ahead, and be a total badass)

And it ran smoothly on my computer (apparently this rig loves Unreal and Source engine games)

It did a lot of things right.
Could've used more practical game balance between armor/no armor (wear armor retard...)
could've used gadgets that had in-game benefits (I got a helmet, tinted goggles AND a gasmask... they did NOTHING- helmets were made out of paper and just for looks, gas mask says it stops tear gas- there is none in the game- and tinted glasses didn't do jack agains flashbangs)
And
its one of those rare games where sniper rifles and shotguns are -almost- viable options.

This is from my brother (an actual game designer): People either code shotguns wrong and make them extremely overpowered or completely useless (and they usually code them OP, and then nerfbat the fuck out of them within the game or disallow them completely in multiplayer)

FEAR had broke ass shotguns.
They were instant kills at most ranges, in most parts of the body in a predominantly indoor-corridor setting.

Inversely- Army of 2 had fucking useless ones (40th day had some nice ones though and the option to mainweapon/sub weapon them)
The damage was low, the ammo was low, the ammo drop was low, the effective range was GARBAGE. A single shot from an AK did more damage in that game than a face-blast from a shotgun at point blank.

The shotgun in this game is fairly balanced, at least non-upper body shots (and at least 80% of that shot hitting) are not instant kills, especially against heavy armor. And its not instant death with blindfire (corner shooting)

Cover aspect was good- but the game also implements a "penetration" quality to their weapons, so... certain materials don't exactly stop bullets
in other words
...
even if you hole up, that PSG1 is gonna punch through that partible board wall and your head.

I liked this. Even if it jipped me, it was a fun feature. Sure that stack of boxes might be better positioning to mop up kills- but the first thing bigger than an SMG is gonna rip through it, and you.

I just wish that more of the environment was destructible
Gadgets worked (breathers, etc)
There were more explosive devices (I wanted some claymores, tripwires, motion alarms, and not just a SLOW to detonate C4 and some grenades with different functions- you get pincered or outmaneuvered a lot since its usually 20 against 3)

The friendly bots needed some more independent aggression and faster reaction time as well.
There were times I was killed due to their > 5 second shooting time.
Hundreds of times.
But they have some great techniques for clearing out small rooms and barreling through the startup bullshit- too bad if they take a head shot, and are -killed- not just -incapacitated- you gotta restart from checkpoint.

But Ubisoft is also made up of people that perpetuate stereotypes or try to counter it pretty obviously when they do write in stereotypes-

I wouldn't have minded if the friendly-bots weren't ... a bit "oh we need a possitive image black bomb diffuser, and a foreign techy"
Ubi has a way of ... kinda imposing some racist or condescending undertones in their games.
I don't think its fully intentional, just that they're part of a culture other than our own, but ... this stuff kinda creeps into games and if you overthink it (and we all know I do) you kinda go "that's an unbelievably culturally-redemptive character" or "no one actually says 'that's super fly'"

Also
The bad guys are Mexican... and they're speaking english with HEAVY ludicrous accents
I kept waiting for them to peek around corners in big mustaches wearing sombreros and shooting their guns in the air doing that "AYAYAYAYAYAYEEEEEEEEEE" thing.

The story could've been left out entirely.
Just tell me there's terrorists, what they stole or who they plan to kill- and send me on my way.
Don't tie in the "evil mexican mercenaries/coyote organization" or the harlequin bathos filled oedipal complex revenge drama.

Also, worst point of the game
You legitimately feel cheated every time you die.
Open a door, and mid animation the badguys react before you can finish, and plug you right in the skull
gameover
go again
Pop a corner
lucky headshot with an inaccurate weapon not designed for combat at greater than 10 meters just hit you directly in the forehead.
Game over
go again

Turned a corner with no indication of bad guys, sound, chatter, or anything
shot in the head
game over
go again

Walked outside after a long shootout, checked every corner, catwalk and peeper
3 steps out- gunshot
headshot
game over
go again

I was literally screaming at the game on the story missions on hard mode.
The game literally cheats you on that difficulty. I recall several times hitting guys the exact same way I had 1000 times before on that setting and dropping them easilly- and TERMINATOR badguys just blowing through it like I was using a popgun.
I unloaded a full 31 shots into a guy's head once, and there must've been a missing polygon
or bot-god-mode
because he did NOT drop.
Killed me and Chris with 5 shots though.
Not five shots.
Five shots total.

I'd call it every time I thought it was bullshit.
And on super-hard mode, where my guns stopped working, and so did concrete cover and grenades
I was calling it 20 times per level.

Also absent (other than just believable or relatable characters) were mid-bosses.
The guys orchestrating this shit are total punkasses that are of no consequence once you actually confront them. Not superior tacticians masterminds, or the badasses they're made out to be
... just unarmored criminal pissants.

Also
Han shoots first.
This game is completely devoid of outright badguy murder (justified or not), they "go for their gun" or point their gun straight at your face at the end of their monologues and you pop them in the head. Easilly With some kind of quick draw magic goodguy bullshit. I don't like playing the whiteknights and whitehats.

The game -does- have an "end boss" and its an attack helicopter that gets Deus Ex Machinaed out.
So the only escalation and progression of your challenge in enemies isn't based on their weaponry, armor, tactics or abilities- they just fling more of them at you, and usually in worse cover. Could've used a "machine gun specialist" or ... a guy in heavy armor, or a guy that can pick out every last one of your moves- it would've been kinda fun. Especially if you're gonna have an endboss at all... and especially one so cliche as a helicopter that you can't even shootdown yourself.

Armor is unbalanced in this game.
Wear armor.
Live longer. Run slightly less.
Your run speed is mostly dictated by the weapon you have in hand. So if you're carrying a big honkin drum fed machine gun in turtle armor and switch to your magnum- you suddenly can run 3x as fast ... despite having the exact same amount of mass on your person.
MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!!
In previous installations of the game, light or "no armor" had its benefits, walking/run speed, sprint time, and you didn't make any noise walking around (and the bad dudes would hear you and start shooting), in a game where 70% of your deaths are headshots, but you'd rather survive everything else by taking 2 shots to the torso or limbs and go into cover for 10 seconds
wear armor.
No armor is a death wish that affords no noticeable benefit.

The game also has a useable tower/riot shield-
This was a feature in Army of 2 though not something you could just equip and run around with, it was a special bad guy item you got temporarily after killing one
So... you'd run around, the shield would have heavy but limited protection (wore out after X damage) and forced you to equip your sub weapon (which in Ao2 was... usually a P90 and bad ass) or in Ao2 40th day forced you to equip a pistol which was either a generic semiauto, a magnum, or the G18. ... you'll want the G18 or the damn magnum. Trust me.
Anyway- you can equip the shield starting out, you can't run with it deployed (but you can run while its on your back invisible and crammed up your butt... in extra-space???) it about halves your walk speed, and it forces a pistol equip (if you pick anything but the magnum or the Desert eagle- you're a fucking mook). Okay- liveable things, right? ...
So
Not many weapons can penetrate the shield- but they exist. Which is fine. If you're gonna use a 60,000 sniper rifle/antimaterial rifle on me, you win. But unless you're crouching- have the shield forward, and have HEAVY fire support/cover directly behind you or to your side
you're a slow moving meat-target.
Crouch so most of your limbs aren't exposed- heavy fire support left right and behind... sure
... and you still might get hit and killed on that 3% of your head that's still exposed at some angles, or at the sides which ... you suddenly can't turn fast enough to do anything about.
Also- this tactic is NOT AS GOOD AS JUST USING CORNER COVER!!!
Just wait it out, the badguys generally come into your line of fire if you wait or provoke them with blind fire long enough. Its still better than the shield alternative.
It's also slow to equip, slow to deploy, and why not give me any 1 handed weapon? Not just pistols. There are 1 handed riot shotguns, 1 handed submachineguns- hell there's several "machine pistol" SMG's in this game. But nooooo it has to be in-game classified as a pistol...and the G18 in this game shoots paper bullets and only has a 17 round clip.


So-
put in some gadgets (oh yeah and put in MORE gun attachments and let me use more than 1 at a time)

more diversity in your enemies

less cheap bullshit

Improved bots/character writing (or leave it out ENTIRELY)

Don't affirmative action hire/token blackguy role unless you're going to make the supporting characters more fleshed out and more subtle, and don't write in such... terrible stereotyped badguys.

Balance armor/noarmor

Add some facial/head protection (flare compensation, riot helmet, ballistic face masks are even in the game but serve nothing but a cosmetic function)

And fix the goddamn shields.


... that all being said.
I really
really
really
liked this game.

I don't have a numerical curve I grade games by
I grade games autobiographically like
"this is what Army of 2 should've been" or "this needs this from this game, and less of this from this game" or "I'm more pleasantly surprised by this impulse buy as impulse buy X" or "this was a bigger letdown than all the hype from Borderlands"

So
Golden standards are
WOTS franchise (Slasher/groundhog day builder/collector)
Front Mission 3 and FFT (TBS)
Ao2, Rainbow Six V2 (Coop shooter/life-refill)
RE4 (Horror-shooter)
Saints Row 2 (Sandbox, sandbox, sandbox crime themed 3rd person shooter)
Fallout 3 (Western RPG)
Katamari Damacy and Shadow of the Colossus (Environment/concept)
Tokyo Extreme Racer Zero (Collector/racer/builder)
Zelda Windwaker (adventure... and I mean that in one of the most pure senses of the word)
Zelda Ocarina of time, Vagrant Story (Action-adventure)
Xenogears, FF6, FF5, DQ 3, BOF 2 and 3 (Eastern RPG)

This game is now something for other games to be measured to.

And for $3.40.

I'm kinda curious about the first, but my initial impulse is "it can't be better than the second... can it?"

I dunno, I generally prefer L4D to L4D2. Just... people spent more resources and added more guns and badguy specials and bigger hoards. But in 1, the characters were better, and so was the range and scope of the campaigns.

... and Kotor 1 > 2.

hmmm...
/googles Vegas 1.