BDSM. How to begin
No matter how long have you been feeling the urge to be involved in BDSM sexual activity, it's never too late to learn this unknown area. But as with the any sex activity, most part of it is left in the dark for a newbie.
Find the right one to get involved with
It's a common misbeliefe that people who are practicing BDSM or use BDSM toys do harm to each other. In fact many people who feel the urge to play BDSM think that you'd better pick up a stranger who is more or less "fit" for the role of "dominant" or "slave" than say to your partner about your "dirty" desires. This is absolutely wrong approach to the matter. Those involved in bondage activity set particular limits and keep to "Safe, Sane and Consensual".
Know the difference between a "reality" and "play"
Of course, almost all of us are manipulating the other person in a dominant or submissive manner to some degree. But that doesn't mean that "play" should be ruled by desire someone for a real "sin" or fault. So if you've just decided to use BDSM toy considering that your partner was not good at carrying out his duties, it's not quite a good idea to do it. Again, it's better to agree on all your interactions beforehand.
Foresee all the possible risks
The best policy in taking part in BDSM play is to have certain assurance in what is going to happen and avoid incidents. As most of the activities involve risks to one's health and even life, you should be sure that game will proceed within certain limits. So check on things that may arouse some problems to you: your and your partner's behavior, whether you'll be using BDSM toy or not, how much are you going to handle and so on. Next time you are playing bondage game you will be more aware of your needs and expectations.
Specific way of communication
Safe words are essential part of BDSM. All participants of the play use this specific language to let each other know what the limits are. While it's quite hard to talk in most games, signs, gestures or short words are more common for this purpose. For example, red color may signal your partner that you don't want to go further with the use of BDSM toy and yellow color may become a sign for a dominant to slow down things.
Otherwise when you want to go further with the more "hard experience": you may also set a number scale so that to give a clue to your partner on use of BDSM toy. If, for instance, you want to sense it soft, you set it "from 1 to 3" and when you are ready to go the whole distance-"10".
In any case, even if you are sure of your agreement, there should be a person who is in control of everything. It is a dominant's responsibility to make certain that he hasn't crossed the border.
Choose the right BDSM toy
First, you should be sure of your "limits" and then goes everything else. But no matter what BDSM toy you choose avoid those which hold extreme risks to your life. BDSM toy with sharp edges may serve you as a fetish thing but it can occasionally hurt your partner. Experimenting with household devices is also rather a risk for a newbie. Even if you choose one, you should make sure beforehand it works "all right" for yourself. In this regard BDSM toys which are sold in sex toys stores are more recommended than those you haven't tested and cannot be sure of.
Be responsible of the one you are involved with
With all the precautions taken, the play may though go wrong and a person who is in control of it should take measures to loosen bonds for instance. Always have a "way-out" to save the slave. It is highly recommended to keep a set of devices which will help you to do it. Being over there with your partner is a must especially when he is very much restricted in his actions and movements.
