Don't wanna bring anybody's mood down. And this might seem a bit odd of a blog, especially lookin' at my new profile headliner lol. Anyways, I've been home for the holiday, and I've been just a mental mess. Seems that my world is just all a mess. No matter what I do or say, things just get fucked up beyond any kind of chance of repair.
Family issues, love life issues, friend issues, work issues, financial crisis, seems like a neverending merry-go-round. And usually when things happen in people's lives, we have this sort of defense mechanism to handle all the bullshit. Some people drink, some people smoke, some people write, some people destroy shit. Whatever it is that channels your emotions, that burns off whatever inspirational moment you might have. Mine seems to be my sense of humor.
Someone once told me that the best comedians and humorists are the most tortured souls known to man. Despite all of their pain and anguish, they're able to find the humor in life. And for some reason, the worse my life tends to go, the crazier my sense of humor goes. I was at a bar watching the Colts game last night, and I was just really losing it on the inside. But I had everybody in there just in tears. I don't know why my head does that, but I just keep finding the funny stuff in the most unfunny of things.
And the drawback of that, is that a lot of people just will not take me seriously. But it's in my nature to make people laugh and smile, no matter how much I'm hurting inside. I guess my theme song would be "Tears of a Clown". But I keep on keepin' on. My gift and my curse. And please, I'm just venting. I don't want sympathy or any condolences. I'm just lookin' back at this weekend, and as sad as it has been, I can't help but laugh at it. It's all I can do to keep from losing my mind I guess.
Arrgh, don't mind me, I'm just thinkin' out loud.
