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1154204's blog: "----^{@ Σαπφώ @}^----"

created on 11/06/2007  |  http://fubar.com/-/b150748

Bad News

I know this isn't the best News to start out with something sad but I dont' know how long my eyes will last before they need the operations on them... I saw my Diabetic Eye Doctor and I have cataracts in both eyes, due to my Diabetes and suffering dry eyes. I am scare of it a little bit, the Doctor told me if my eyes get worse, there is a surgery for them and one at a time. Though most Diabetics go blind adventurally. I now, really dislike Diabetes, if it wasn't for the polyneuropathy that has 50 % of my body in certain areas and now my eyes are going. I love reading, now that will be another thing to lose, unless I can find a partner to read to me... I love doing alot of things like writing Poetry to writing short and long Stories. I do alot of Arts and Crafts, I also love painting and playing my electric keybroad. I don't fear Death but to lose my eye-sight before I get a chance to find my True Love, I would never know what they look like and would need their help more in alot of ways. This is scary for me, to have my independence taking away like that from a Diabetes. I guess I better start watching Sunrises, Sunsets and the Night Sky's, like the phases of the New Moon to the Full Moon. With my Polyneuropathy, it is a neurological disorder (the nerves in your body, aside from your spinal cord and brain are damaged or not working correctly) that occurs when many peripheral nerves throughout the body malfunction simultaneously. Also with polyneuropathy I am losing muscle tissue as it moves to take on a new place, first it was just my both of my feet then it moved up to both knees and now it is in my right outer hip. Every day is a struggle just to get out of bed especially when my lower back locks up. Then in early 2007 the polyneuropathy took both of my hands along with Carpal Tunnel. But I can't get rid of it,it has been at me since 1985 when I carried my first son through out the whole 10 months plus and again in 1987 with my second son but only in the first trimester. After my second son was born, I came down with Type II Diabetes 2 years and one month later. Unfortunately the Pills didn't work, so my D.O. at the time started me up on Insulin and my Blood Sugars started to come down. But not down far enough or long enough, I have been needing the Insulin Pump since the first day I came down with Diabetes. The Insulin Pump would have giving me a 68% chance of not getting Neuropathy or polyneuropathy or the eye-problems I have had. All my Doctors believe that I might had have Diabetes since I was a child but being Military raised, they (the Military Doctors) may have over look it. We will never know but having it since March 23, 1990, also in 1990 shortly after coming down with Diabetes, I poke a wrong finger that I used for doing my soft contacts, the scar tissue went across my pupil and scratch it that Doctor told me that I will eventually come down with Glaucoma. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Warning signs of Cataracts, Diabetes and Polyneuropathy: * The thing I can tell others the warning signs of Cataracts... Sensitive to bright light, like the Sunlight, you may eventually start to notice "ghost" images and declining visual clarity, which cant be corrected with glasses or contacts. Colors may also begin to look faded. If your functional vision is impaired significantly and it becomes difficult for you to visually perform your normal daily activities, it may be time for cataract surgery (this is why my reading 15 to 30 books a month has dropped to 1 or none now)... *Diabetes Mellitus Type I and Type II... Dehydration causes increased thirst and water consumption. Insulin deficiency eventually leads to weight loss or weight gain despite an increase in appetite. Some untreated diabetes patients also complain of fatigue, nausea and vomiting. Patients with diabetes are prone to developing infections of the bladder, skin, and vaginal areas. *Polyneuropathy... The most common form of chronic polyneuropathy is most often due to diabetes. Nutritional deficiencies (such as vitamin B deficiency) are an uncommon cause of chronic polyneuropathy in the United States, Anemia due to vitamin B12 deficiency (pernicious anemia) may also cause chronic polyneuropathy. As a child I was sickly, as I grew up I got better for awhile... Though since March 23, 1990 the sickness returned. Even when I go to Doctor appointments I make sure they are not too close together (like back to back), it takes me a full 24 hours to get my strength back up. For the last 6 years my health has taking some wrong turns. I almost had my chance on December 7. 2006, I was put to sleep for Cysts that were growing along my tail-bone they needed to be removed, before any other surgeries on the rest of my body could be done. In Day Surgery Recovery, they try to wake you up as soon as possible. Me, though, I heard warning beeps that were telling the Nurses that something was going wrong with me, of course I jumped out of my body and the exit. Next thing I know I was in Heaven, Summerland, whatever you want to call it. I was there for 4 hours, enjoying the love from my love ones of this life and many others. I wanted to stay but I had my 18 year old son, I just couldn't leave him Motherless and of course I thought of Sandy too and all the people I have touched through the Net. My families and friends knew what I was thinking and they began to beg me to stay. So, I had no choice and cried out to my Psychic Sister *lol , Jill* a big hug to you, Jill for bringing me back here in the Earth's Plane. Then what does Sandy do? My Sister, she dies on me and it tore me from the inside out. I left the Computer for 31 days, it was bad enough to face Anchorage, Alaska with a broken heart, of a sis-in-law that turn into a true Sister to me, since I am a only child. Sandy died of Colon Cancer March 19, 2007. It was on March 23, 2007, I got my clean bill of health of my tail-bone cysts operation but was also the last day I spoke to any of my friends on the internet. I just disappeared into my room, refusing alot of days of not eating. I did have to start drinking Nutritional Drinks, to make up for what I wasn't eating. Till this day sometimes I really forget to eat, due to my stomach hurting through stress... About a month ago my eyes starting hurting when I would rub them, the Sun would hit my eyes, I would hiss and cover my eyes. So, yes I love the night. no bright light hurting my eyes at night. Is this Angel ready to go home? Yes, my life lessons are done... I just hope to meet one of my Grandchildren before I go, hopefully the first will be a girl, cause I will spoil her and treat her like I wasn't treated lovingly by my Mother. Even if both my sons have boys, all my grandchildren will be spoiled, lol. I'm not kidding either. Well, I shall close for now. TTFN Luna, Lady of the Moon
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