My first blog created off MuMM's .....
I plan to write from time to time here about things i see in MuMM's either reocurring, or just in general because the MuMM spawned a thought or idea.
For the first one i will be going on about the bad boy, nice guy, player mentality of woman and men. Remember these are only my insights of what i have read and how i see things personally.
To many woman complain about how they can not find a nice guy. Well a MuMM reply to such a question spawned a bit of insight i had not ever known. The reply was the nice guy is the quiet one you shoot down after he buys you drinks. Kinda funny but now pondering that i am that guy. However this goes deeper. To many people these days are thick skinned, and cautious. Woman mainly, but men as well. What happens is we all tend to put on walls to protect ourselfs. We tent to follow what we know, which is the same old crap we have been through time and time again. The problem with this mentality and way of protecting oneself is two fold.
First you are not allowing yourself to grow as a person, or grow in knowledge. You stiffle your own existance and ability to learn by blocking out new and unknown avenues. In this case the quiet person at the end of the bar. While he or she is the one who gets up early and goes home half sober or dead sober you are failing to see why they do this. They are the person who has responsibilitys and a life they are proud to take care of. They know going home early means getting up early, to start a day fresh and ready to accomplish what is given them. Your failure to recognize this as a type of person to get to know is the failure based upon the walls and missconceptions we all breed and learn from others. We think of party time as party time, its time to have fun, because life is short. While this is true, we must also relise life is really short and waisting all that party time with idiots only brings about a longer then wanted road to happiness.
Secondly we as humans tend to forget what real happiness is. We tend to live in the moment rather then in the future. If we can break ourselfs of such a existance then our road to life long happiness will begin sooner and last longer. However noone likes change, and when we have to change ourselfs it makes us feel like we failed in some way. When we need to relise that if we do not relise when we need to change, we are failing even harder then when we do. The living goal of everyone who is happy comes from one constant insight into themselfs. Or at least in my opinion it comes from this one insight.
That to be a good and caring person, we must first relise we are not perfect and that we are always in a state of growth and change. If we can embrass the concept of changing constantly to better ourselfs, then we are never caught in a downward spirl of a mediocore existance. People say you should not change yourself for anyone, while this is right and i believe in this with all my heart. They fail to see the ending of that statement which is you should always want to change yourself for the better, and do it for yourself not another.
Then we come down to the reason for change, sometimes its obvious. Like we might tend to lie to much and relise it has become our normal reaction to things, so we see we must change. Othertimes it takes a individual to help us grow. We change not because we have to but because we must to insure our own happiness in a given situation. Or because our love for a individual helps to open our eyes to things we should change to make ourselfs a better person.
I guess is all boils down to one thing the most important thing.
Is happiness being stagnent and the same, or is true happiness found in growing, giving and learning how to improve ones self?
This question only you can answer for yourself, for me its always growing, giving and learning. For if i stop growing then to me i am not a better man, i am just another man.