Today started out kinda good. Husband got me a cup of coffee and then after an hour it just seemed as though he went down hill. He just kept getting really cranky and touchy and I dont understand if it is the withdrawls from alcohol or if its me. I try real hard to be a good person and a great mom but it seems like he really don't care anymore. He is always making really rude comments and he never seems to care what he says anymore to me or the kids. All he is concerned about is himself. I wish that he would just leave at times just so that I could find myself again after 11 years of hardship. I won't say that I didnt have good times, I did but it just seems like the bad over rules the good. I hope that things take a drastic turn here soon. I feel like I am in a bad soap opera and can't get free. I need some help I keep crying out but ya know my friends keep telling me advice on what to do but I am the one to do the dirty work and I really don't know why I am still in this situation. I told him to leave 3 different times and yet he is still here. He hit me once but the kids weren't around so I took a walk away from him and he left me alone for a bit. I know why he hit me its because I didnt want to fight anymore. I am only 36 years old and I don't understand why I am always on the go. Today he told me that he was going to take my motorcycle and and the truck to the scrape yard so he could get some money to put on his fine but he didn't, he surely threatened though. I hope that he will start acting right tm.
