I really wish you'd call me.
It kinda sux that I've mailed you two letters now and you stll haven't called me.
Anyways, if youv'e ever wondered what I think about while wer'e arguing, I'll tell you now> I think about everything...Lately you have no time for me and I cant stand it anymore. I need to be with someone that cares enough about me that he'd be there for me and actually make an effort the ways that I do. I've done everything for you and Im so tired of getting nothing back. Do you know how easy it is to just leave you for good and never look back? For most people, its pretty hard, but Im talking about me. I've been living without people I love all my life, dont think I cant do it with you too. Im not saying it wont hurt me,
Cuz it will, believe that,
but if your'e making no effort now even when we aren't together what is supposed to make me think you'll even give the slightest amount of time when we are? The fact that you love me means a lot it really does...But how do you show it? How many times were you supposed to see me but something happens and you decide not to? Or what about me? I CANT keep giving and giving and not get anything back but a phonecall that says I'll see you tomorrow, but it never hapens. I cant depend on you to be there for me, and thats a big thing for me. You promised that you'd be there and that you'd never leave me,yet when I was wasted off my ass and passed out, where were you? I had to go to the hospital, did you know that? I dont even remember anything. I just remember waking up at my friends house in Chula vista thinking how the fuk did i get here? When i found out that you never came for me, I was in denial. That changed everything for me. For you to tell me all the things you tell me and promise me that you'll be there, then go and pull shit like that, fuk you. And another thing how can you tell me you love me and at the same time, fuk other girls? cuz I'll be honest, so many guys have tried to get with me and when they hold me, it doesn't feel right, I pushed guys off of me when they try to kiss me cuz its not you and it doesnt feel right, but then here you are and you fuk other girls? You dont love me, theres no way...Call me I'd love to talk to you and I miss and Love you but Im so confused, You scare me, whatever if you dont call, I'll live, If you do, we can fix things and hopefully we can get it right this time. But I WONT BE THE ONLY ONE MAKING AN EFFORT IN THIS IF YOU WANNA BE WITH ME, YOU HAVE TO START SHOWING IT, AND MAKE TIME FOR ME.
I Love you,
Charlotte
