Today I realized, even though I've said I've moved past certain obstacles in my life, I don't think I did 100%. As I felt the season changing, smelling that crisp, delicious October air around the bend. it rolled over me like silt on a riverbed. I wasn't completely over 2 things to be exact. I really thought I was but not until today did I feel those albatross fly away. Before they departed, they turned and looked at me as if to say, "You shall bear our crosses no longer" and I felt so much life flow back into me as the weight was relieved from my shoulders. I guess you could say that I had a moment of clarity or realization, but everything was right again inside. That inner voice hasnt lied to me yet, cant say I havent ignored it before, but this time its no question at all. So the memorys that I once loathed, I was now able to look back on them and just take them for what they are, good or bad, and leave it at that, just a memory locked in a dream. It's there when I need it but now its a learned experience and time to Fully move on, no half ass move.
Its funny how one little smell, or song can trigger ur brain to recall something at a specific time and work in unison with ur heart to heal your mind, body, and spirit.
So now, finally. another part of the year wont pass unrecognized in my own little world. I will nod and smile to the bird when he flys by, but nothing more. Time is short and I think Ive seen enough of the darkness that is in me, and in life, alot of it brought on by ignoring that voice inside, so I guess the nails have been removed from my wrists and ankles, but I know the holes are already fitted and the nails will be easy to return. But not again, not anymore.
