KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the
actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of
San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there
went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with
the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with
both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while
became concerned and walked over to the car. He
noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she
looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay,
and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back
of the head, and had been holding her brains in for
over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the
car because the doors were locked and Linda refused
to remove her hands from her head. When they finally
got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread
dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the
heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a
gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of
her head. When she reached back to find out what it
was, she felt the dough and thought it was her
brains. She initially passed out, but quickly
recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over
an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.