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I find myself at a Crossroads as of late. Not in a good way, well hell at this rate I am not sure if its good or bad lol.
Sometimes I question my dissisions and actions just like everyone else but lately I seem to question my every move and thought. Did I make the right choice, did I screw up by doing this or that....Are things going to change because of the choices and actions I did take etc etc etc. These are all questions that are left unanswered in my own head.
I allowed myself to be happy for a short time, even allowed myself to be leave that I could be happy, yeah yeah I know why'd ya go and convince yourself of that BS lol.
I guess for the simple fact that I to want to be happy
I too want to feel loved and wanted and appriciated.
I mean is that so much to ask for really?
To have someone actually care about me and not what I can give them or how I can make there life easier....Now Before vain people start to think I'm talking about them Let me assure you IN this aspect I'm speaking in general....
For over 2 years I've been refered to the Love sick Puppy....well I guess you all knew something I didn't know at the time. So Yes I guess I am a love sick puppy but that's OK. I got to be happy for a little while and it was worth it even if it only lasted for a little while I don't regret one minute of it.
Now I'm more stuck on how to let go so I can try to move on because the last thing I want is to love someone that doesn't love me. So how do ya do it? How do you force yourself to let go and not care anymore? When most the time I can't stop thinking ...I hope he's OK and his family is Ok....I wonder what I can do to make things better on them. How can I help them have a better christmas stuff Like that is always running threw my mind.
So how do I do it? How do I just say the hell with it and move on? hmmm I dunno hell I've been wondering that for a week now with No damn luck LOL maybe someone has the answers I need who knows.
All I know is I am an amazing person with alott of love to give the person I love. It is because I do love that I do the things I do. I like to show the person I love that he's wanted, that he's needed, that I don't want to live my life without him in it...that I have eyes for NO ONE BUT HIM.
I dunno maybe I'm just crazy who knows LOL been accused of worse I guess.....*stops rambling*
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