If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist;
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there's never any time for her;
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation;
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism;
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment;
If you keep quiet its male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp;
If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her,you're a chauvinist;
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination;
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert;
If you don't, you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist;
If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain;
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something;
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself;
If you aren't you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired;
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
Men die first because they want to...
